Naperville Crossings Tournament: Diarrhea, Stealing Snacks, and Hanging A Queen
Introduction
Hi Chess Friends! Or people... It's been a long time since my last blog, and I wanted to apologize for not posting for six months, or playing chess games for quite a while (except for bullet and hyperbullet because my small brain loves fast things). I've been busy with school, getting into Japanese culture, and drawing random things. I wanted to share the first tournament of the year. Below is a video from two years ago of this beautiful chess tournament.
The infamous Naperville Crossings Tournament, a yearly event that occurs every year for one day, is today: 10/8/2023. Two years ago, I attended it, and it was really quite fun (I got a 2/4, quite a nasty turnout), I was playing in the rook section (the lowest section), and the year after that I played it again, and got a 2/4 again (I didn't, I got a 1/4). The year after that I got my best score (this year), 2.5/4!!! Wow! I didn't win anything, the whole team won nothing, but at least I got a $10 dollar SmashBurger gift card and hundreds of thousands of chips that I tried stealing through my backpack, large coat, and hoodie, all with many, many, many pockets.
Anyhow, this year's crossing was fun, with some new people, I got a friend to play with in the tournament, and also ate a lot of food. @DavidLi was there, and he got a 3/4!!!!! His only loss was against @idiotmonkey, who somehow beat him (probably that ample amount of bananas that we fed him beforehand got him aggressive and David took some heavy hits)!
Alright, now to the horrible, really, really, really, really bad games. The tournament began at around 9:00, but before that, I played some really casual blitz games against some friends, ate some food, and downed a Dr. Pepper, and then proceeded against my first opponent from Neuqua Valley: Joshua George. Hopefully, he's good (he's not, but I'm not either). The first thoughts in my head were "Hopefully, I'll have a fun game against this man" (No, it wasn't, it was "Please don't let me lose. I'm so bad at chess. Darn it.")
Anyhow:
Game 1: Me vs Joshua George (1-0)
I am so goddamn happy that I won this game. Not only that, but the fact that my opponent DIDN'T SEE THE HANGING QUEEN (HOLY ####!!!! HAHHAHAAH LLLLL BOZO, sugma nuts). Anyhow, amazing game, except for the three or four blunders and the crazy high accuracy.
Now find the moves:
Hanging Queen Cuz I Suck
Free Rook!! 
After this, I went to Panera and ordered a monstrosity of a drink, for free. Very thankful that @imayub. 390 ml of Caffeine and the left side of my face went numb after one sip. Apparently, in one of these drinks, there are about four shots of expresso. It's like an extreme energy drink. The amount of sugar almost killed my insides.
I definitely don't recommend getting any of these because it tastes like pure sugar, and I don't think I'll ever fall asleep ever again (The sugar crash will kill me afterward). I think the sugar definitely affected how I spent my time afterward because I had 6 minutes vs 10 seconds at the end of this game.
Game 2: Me vs Vrishank (1/2-1/2)
Vrishank is easily the best monkey
, for one, he doesn't just eat bananas, and he loves food. He ate chips aggressively and had this intimidating stare, one time he accidentally spilled them and then knocked over his king by accident, thus resigning (I'm just kidding, this never happened). Intensely fun game, a lot of fun things happened. Now solve these puzzles:
I forgot that I had this tactic
I hung many pawns
Lunchtime
Game 3: Me vs Anish (1-0)
Sorry bout' that
Fun game overall, after this, I spent the next half hour doing fun things like talking, walking, and drinking that really horrible caffeinated beverage (My left leg went numb and I couldn't walk). Fortunately, at this point, @DavidLi and @idiotmonkey went 3/3! Sheesh! That's crazy! That next round, they went against each other! Who will win? I don't know, (probably the monkey, he's a lot stronger).Anyhow, I was going against Neuqua Valley's Anthony Chen! (He's surprisingly good, actually, he's the highest-rated player there at 1900 USCF). Let's watch him absolutely destroy me (I lost in 18 moves
).Game 4: Anthony Chen vs Me (1-0)
This was the absolute worst game I've ever played, and I think the shortest classical game I've ever played to this day. I don't think I've been destroyed so hard since two years ago. There was nothing to analyze afterward because I was simply destroyed to pieces.
Shortest Puzzle, Easy Ways To Win
Overall, it was a fun tournament.Afterward, I played some rhythm games with the limited amount of time I had (Quaver, definitely not Osu, that game is fun, but then I'll be accused of being gay), (I wish I did not bring my whole gaming setup, because I could've stolen more chips and food that way). I also managed to capture a picture of this goofy monkey staring at me. Luckily, I got a close-up shot of him:
1. Neuqua Valley
2. Waubonsie Valley
3. Metea Valley
We actually did the best in the king section, but we just did not have enough people to win the tournament. Unfortunately, most of the top players we have are graduating next year. But, hopefully, it will be better. But this was really good for our team. Next up is the Hinsdale Central Tournament and the End Of The Preseason Tournament, both of which I will maybe recap if I have time.
Thank you for reading!
