Clemenz opening, Global Variation???

Yeah. This witchcraft exists. It's not your regular e5, but... h3 followed by a3. This super weird opening is called Clemenz Opening: Global Variation. It's also called "The Creepy Crawly". Global Variation is a terrible opening and is more of a troll opening. It soon leads to the weakening of the kingside, although not more than Grob's Attack(g4) or Barnes opening(f3). Anything that the opponent plays back is pretty much a good response especially d5 or e5 because it covers the middle. The only bad response to this terrible opening is f5 because then the opponent can respond to this with 2. d4, transposing to a sharp line against the Dutch Defense. The Clemenz opening is named after the Estonian Chess Master, Hermann Clemenz. Some famous players who played this opening are: Michael J Basman, Homer Oca, Sergey Myrza, Tim P Wall, William N Watson, and Dao Thien Hai. The overall win percentage for white(who plays clemenz) is 38.5%. Black's win percentage is 53.8%, while chances for a draw are 7.7%. (Based on Master Games). The last time this opening was playing in a tournament was May 2006! That's how bad this opening is that no one ever plays it.