The Benefits of Patzerdom

I play a lot of bullet chess, and have noticed that players who have a slightly higher rating than me are easier to 'bluff' than lower-rated players. If I make a move that looks right for the position, they will often trust that it works tactically and won't spend much time trying to calculate a refutation. 

Games against lower-rated players are totally different. Often they breaks every conceivable principle, and yet still win! I reckon it's because they won't believe that my moves work just because they look sensible or follow recognised principles, and the reason for that is they might not even know any principles in the first place!  

It's particularly grating to be beaten by a patzer who has no hesitation about making moves that are coarse, ugly, and pointless. I say this tongue in cheek, as bullet chess is full of all sorts of nonsense, and I don't mean to imply that my dubious manoeuvres are any better. 

But it got me thinking, maybe there are some advantages to being a patzer. Should you be afraid of a higher-rated opponent, or is it actually beneficial to be the smaller dog in the fight?

1) Upsets.

Here's a secret: the higher rated player is like a venomous spider. He is far more frightened of you than you are of him! Let's do a cost/benefits analysis of the possible outcomes of a random bullet match (assuming it's not a tournament game, and there is no money at stake):

• If you win (an upset), you gain a lot (rating, prestige, ego...)

• If you lose, you don't lose much as you didn't expect to win anyway.

• If he wins, he doesn't gain much, as he's supposed to win anyway.

• If he loses, he loses a lot! Especially in the ego department.
  
  
  

So you see, as the lower-rated player you benefit a lot more from the outcome of the match than your opponent, as you 'win' more and 'lose' less. This should be highly motivating! This understanding also might instil a little fear in the higher-rated player, which will interfere with his rational decision making. If you're the lower-rated player, you should leverage this psychological advantage by mixing things up – don't cringe in fear of the spider and beg for a draw, instead try to take him out of his web and squash him!

2. The Dunning-Kruger Effect.

This can be summarised as 'you don't know what you don't know.' Weak players do not like to resign, which is confusing to me as I'm happy to resign a bullet game whenever I feel like it. It's common for coaches to tell young students 'no one ever won a game by resigning!' and such, and many cultures instil this 'never say never, only losers give up' etc. attitude, so I guess it never leaves people even after they grow up. The humble and sportsmanlike conceding of defeat is not a widely held value any more, if it ever was.

More than this, though, I think patzers who play on to mate believe they can still win, even if they have no pieces or time left. Because of the Dunning-Kruger effect., they don't really have much insight into what's going on most of the time, so they may as well play to win every single position, even if they're down fourteen points and three moves away from being mated. Indeed, in perhaps 1 game in 100, their opponent hangs mouseslips into a stalemate or is suddenly devoured by a crocodile. The patzer doesn't care about the 99 painful losses (they are used to losing, after all), but he treasures the sweet victories or draws snatched from the jaws of defeat. 

This gives the patzer a massive psychological benefit! They stick it out even when there is no hope and will rescue the occasional point, even when there is no logical reason to do so.

3) It's easier to improve.

When you're still starting out at chess, learning little things can cause you to take massive strides in playing strength. Learn the points and you'll stop hanging your queen, because she's worth so much. Figure out how to defend against Scholar's Mate and boom, your games will go longer than four moves now! Didn't take much, did it? As you get a bit stronger, you have to put in a bit more effort, but it can still be a simple matter of memorising a handful of opening moves or practising your tactics.

Contrast this with the Grandmaster experience. If you want to improve as a top-flight GM, you will probably need to spend months memorising literally hundreds of thousands of computer moves in ludicrously complex positions just to gain a rating point or two in your next tournament.

So savour and cherish the early stages of your chess journey, where every step of improvement can be a giant leap.

4. You remember that it's just a game

The end goal for must of us is to have fun at, isn't it? If you're a patzer, you might be better-placed to enjoy chess than a much stronger player, as you can just have fun. Unlike a professional, you don't have to spend your time studying, memorising books worth of opening theory, or agonising over devilish endgame compositions. You can just fire up a bullet game, shoot off a few moves, and not care too much whether you win or lose.

Of course, improvement is in itself a way of enjoying the game, and studying will help you improve, so I'm not suggesting that us patzers shouldn't study, or don't care about the game in the same way that more serious players do. We are lucky though that for us, chess can still be just for fun.