3 (Very Serious) Reasons Why Online Chess is Better than OTB

Before we begin, this post is a joke. Both OTB and online chess are good, and while different, should both be appreciated. Although chess.com gives you the boring benefit of being easily accessible to play at any time, I will give you the REAL reasons why it is better. 

The invention of online chess is BY FAR the best invention ever. It is far better than the wheel or any language. It is far better than a house or the internet (Hey wait a minute). Lastly, it is far better than over the board chess. Here are my reasons:

1. Online chess is better for rage

When you rage in an OTB game, you most likely will throw the board and all of its contents on to your poor opponent (The calmest is slamming the table). Online, the worst you can do is press the F key (we will ignore the other option).

2. You Can Eat Expired Food Products Without Being Judged

This might be the most valid reason on this low quality list that has somehow taken me a week to make. In OTB chess, unless in a casual match, you are not allowed to bring your 2 week old meatball sandwich into a match. In online chess, you won't be judged! 

3. Less Showers

In over the board chess, you have to do something called being around other creatures of your own species. In online chess, you can play without anyone! We can therefore conclude, that showers are worthless because no one is there to judge you. This is possibly the most IMPORTANT reason why online chess is better. 

4. Conclusion

Well that is my list. Hope you all hated it just as much as me writing it! (jk kinda) Thank you for reading!