A man named Bill

A Man named Bill

There once was a man named Bill. And he signed up for the Foreign Legion. But then decided to go AWOL! So, the Commander of the Foreign Legion ordered a manhunt. Bill realised this would happen, and set about creating a disguise. He tried Glasses and a wig and a false beard. He even tried to hide in a concealed drain situated in the centre of Paris. But he realised it was impossible because of his size, he was just too fat! What shall I do he said? I have got to get away. Then he suddenly had a bright idea. I’ll take part in the Paris Marathon, by doing this I’ll lose enough weight, which will enable me to get down that drain! But what if I get caught, he asked Himself? “I should have a plan B” But he realised that plan B was no good, so it had to be plan C! He decided to call his twin brother William for advice. Who had just the answer, because he was nudging 43 stone himself. Unfortunately, Bill wasn’t pleased with Williams answer, so he decided to put plan D into operation! He went to a music shop near the Notre Dame Cathedral and purchased a length of piano wire. He then set out with the wire concealed under his coat. His intention was to make a snare to trap the guys that were after him, but realised it wasn’t going to work, so decided to put plan E into operation. But since none of this seemed to be working, he decided to put plan D into operation! But then he remembered that plan D was already put into operation! So, he decided to go straight to plan X. He was invited to play the role of "Tosca" in the performance. He was still a bit overweight and so the Director of the Opera Monsieur Quatorze renamed his character to be "Tubby Tosca". At this insult he realised that things were not going to plan, so he decided to go back to plan A. While considering plan A he passed a door with a notice pinned to it. He, read the notice and saw it was an advertisement for "Soldiers of Fortune”. On it in bold Letters “Ring bell for Interview”. According to the notice pay would be very good. Sub-machine guns and ammo would be supplied for free and the centre of operation was in the local pub but since he was a none drinker, he decided to abandon plan A, and implement plan G. But before he could do anything else, he met Foxy Labeau. It was at the local café, she looked like she stepped out of Vogue magazine only a bit chubbier. And so, He was scared but then he changed his mind and said “I ain’t scared anymore “. And then he walked over to the lady at the local café, and said, “excuse me...I need to order my coffee” and walked past. and the lady replied “hey! ......what are you, some sort of a mug! “. But then with a large grunt, Bill opened his eyes! .... oh, my goodness, it’s all been a horrible dream “. And everybody lived happily ever after.

The End