How to Beat Me, Lesson #2: Never Resign
You can go anywhere to find fully qualified chess masters shelling out advice, tips, tricks, traps and strategies designed to help you beat other people. This is the only place you'll find advice on beating me.
It's not because that's a very hard thing to do. I'm decent, but I can choke away a winning position like nobody's business. Take a look at this board:
My opponent's king was on h8 and I cleverly forked it and his rook while pinning his f-pawn with my rook. I'm a genius! In this position, it's my move.
Anyone with half a brain would trade the knight for the rook, capture the c7 pawn on the next turn, and go on to glorious victory against the highest rated opponent they've ever beaten.
But utilizing my uncanny ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, I took the pawn on h4.
Gaaaack.
Still, not a major disaster. But then I tilted big time, somehow losing a passed pawn on the 7th rank, letting my knight and king get forked, and then I sank beneath the waves.
A lot of people will tell you never to resign against anybody, as a matter of principle, because these things can happen. I don't subscribe to that. I resign a lot, but it's usually after an egregious blunder in the opening or middle game. If I make it to the endgame, I generally stick it out, because I've found I'm pretty good at engineering a cheap stalemate.
Case in point:
That's not a stalemate. That's a failmate. I'm ashamed to take the half point, but I get over it quickly.
I even did it in my final first round Chess 960 tournament game, where I was hanging on by a thread. This one was a failmate by repetition.
So beating me in an endgame is simple: If I have a big advantage, keep playing, because I can piss away a lead like an old man with a weak bladder (which, come to think of it, I am). If you have a big advantage, take your time and make absolutely sure you're not walking into a failmate. Sometimes if you have too many pieces they get in the way of each other. Use your two or three best pieces, or take your time and queen a pawn or two. You don't get extra points for winning in 40 moves or fewer.
I'm waiting patiently for the second round to begin in both tournaments I'm in. Will I reach for a trophy, only to drop it on my foot? Stay tuned.
