Why Chess Sucks
Greetings welcome back to the Hornet Editorial.
I had a realization a few days ago. I have finally come to my senses. I now know that the game we call chess sucks. What a terrible game it is.
Why do I think chess sucks?? Let me give you a few reasons.
I always lose
Come on man! I always lose at chess (probably another server error, because I could beat Magnus any day.) Many people would call that a skill issue, but they're wrong. Why are they wrong? Because they're idiots 
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My opponents never let me win; They trick me into losing my queen! It's their fault, they should let me win more.
A few weeks ago, I played the King's Gambit, and my opponent out of spite decided to capitalize on my mistake! How mean! Why does Chess.com allow people like this to keep damaging my pride and self-esteem! IT's SHAMEFUL.
@Lightning quit chess last year because people mocked his look.
Now, while those people may be right, it was damaging to Isaac. One year later, and Isaac still compulsively stress eats chicken nuggets because of his condition. Very sad state of affairs.
En Passant
I love en passant duh! It always tricked silly chess noobs hehe, what a bunch of losers. BUT THEN CHESS.COM GOT RID OF EN PASSANT!
Every time I played en passant, I would get chills. So, liberating to see someone else fail.
Now, I can't play it because big shot Danny Rensch decided to go messing with those wires. Thanks a lot Danny.
This is a dent in the chess community, this is a dent in my life. I have lost nearly all the will I have to even look at this website.
I'm too tall
I am way too tall to play chess. I am so tall that every time I try to play chess, I lose because of server errors. While @Lightning doesn't have to worry about this considering the extremely short stature he has, I have to worry about it.
Every night I am awake because of this epidemic.
Chess.com said it was because of "7 million" new members. Ya, right. Who would want to join this site to read cringe content like what you're reading right now... I mean @Lightning's blogs?!
I am sad to say that today will be my last day on this site. Unless I magically become short again like I was 15 years ago, I will be moving over to lichess where there are way less server errors 
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Goodbye my Chess.com friends. I shall miss you greatly. Adios.
Conclusion
Thank you for reading this post. If you, like me believe that chess sucks... join the Blogging Awards!
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Once again thank you for reading this post. If you are a stout believer of everything said above... you are a fool 
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Check your calendar for once fool fr. It will be April Fool's Day in around 3 hours 
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Everything I said above was satirical. I love chess, Chess.com and I like @Lightning and Daniel Rensch.
If you report me to Colin before reading the conclusion, that's understandable. But maybe you should read the entire post first .
Well, anywho that's all I got. Happy April Fool's Day (in three hours)!
- @HornetCruise
