Cats Addicted To Chess: Are You at Risk?
So for a week straight my cats have been playing chess at night after I go to bed. I know this for a fact because when I get up in the mornings and go to make my next move in this ongoing game in the family room I find that the board is all messed up and somebody has been knocking the pieces off onto the floor. Once the chessmen land on the floor, the pets seem to get a kick out of kicking the bishops around because they must roll the best or something. Well, for whatever reason, they seem to pick on the bishops the most, and this morning it turned deadly. They broke not one but two of the glass bishops, the furry pervs! Bishop killers! Don't they realize this makes them enemies of God? (For some time now I've suspected they were agents of evil.) Now what am I supposed to do with the rest of the glass set that came with the table I use? For the time being, I'm putting the glass set away and replacing it with cheap plastic chessmen, at least until the pusses learn to play chess in a more civilized manner. Now I'm looking around for some glue. Let this be a warning to all of you out there who allow living breathing pelts to roam your home freely in the dead of night. Furs! I'm going to garnish their wages to pay for the chessmen repairs. (Their daytime job is being cute.) Also, any rumors you may have heard that the cats beat me fair and square and I broke the bishops in frustration over being defeated by felines, well those rumors are unsubstantiated lies.