Lose quickly with the bongcloud!? what NOT to play series

Hello everybody, it's time to come back from the other topic era and reach in for some more chess, and the reason I'm doing this is because of @VOB96 . Why is she the reason. Well, to find that out, maybe read my blogs a little more and pull all of the strings together to find out. Nah, I'm just stalling time so those who don't click on the blog don't get any information. So let us begin with why I decided to start this series. Also I am splitting this into parts so you get no satisfaction of reading the whole paragraph. Also note that all the images of my mascot displayed here were not AI and hand-drawn by me so don't judge the art. Also don't judge picture quality as I am only using QuickTime Player.

                                                         PART 1: ORIGINS

So, recently @VOB96 made a forum post in blogchamps about what footballer you would be based on your blogging. And guess where I place? 28th out of the 29 people registered. Of course there was a description why that you would be placed where you got placed so I got to reading. After I finished reading. I was finished reading. THE END. J.k. it just said that I should focus more on chess than than the other random stuff that I normally do. I actually did do chess blogs back in the early stages of blogging, way back when my name was still @TheChessnerd300. But I stepped out of the light of chess, for two main reasons. And those reasons, are of greed and one of care.

                                               PART 2: REASON NO.1

So, the first reason that I changed into the other blog stuff is that my motto used to be that my blog was one of many subjects. It is not any more. But the term stuck to me so I became engrossed in making blogs not just about chess, but some blogs that enthusiasts of other subjects can enjoy, including maths, video games and the end of humanity. You know what? Just take the last bit away and you have yourself some good blogging. But chess has gotten me far in blogging, so what is the second reason, well, I will tell you, even though this realisation only hit me after it had already started so let's see why.

                                                     PART 3: REASON NO.2

So the reason, or the second one, hit me later, like, way later. When the mark had already been set. So the second reason is the one of greed, views. Cold, hard, paper views. Wait... I'm just talking about the way "Money talks, money talks". Ahem, If you have checked how many, out of 16 of my over 100 view blogs are chess, it's a surprisingly low amount. I mean, my top blog is the lyrics to Thick of it! shadow dumb is that. Sure second place is about chess but that is because one, its old and 2, that was what was popular at the time. And number 3, which is about chatGPT is only 35 views behind. But what!? You want to get to the actual opening instead of me yapping about myself!? Okay, that kinda is why I made the blog. So lets start after you move past this image.

Okay, now it is really time to start in this not new, not unrecognisable opening. Which is...

                                                   PART 4: THE BONGCLOUD                             

So now we move onto one of the most complicated chess openings ever. You may be asking. Pat, nothing is longer than 10 moves for each player and even though I don't care about that question and that you are also wrong, I have to answer those questions anyway.  The longest opening in chess is some variation of the ruy Lopez  with 36 book moves. More than feeble minds can comprehend. Now here is the real opening after I stalled out some time with that not very fun fact. Here you go. Voila, there it is, Da its es.

See there, that is real beautiful chess, yes take it in, its beauty unmatched. Nothing like it can ever exist on earth. The worlds dumbest opening. Well, actually not dumbest since I want to save the even dumber for the rest of the series since this is only the first blog. So the whole point of this opening is to trick your opponent into thinking you are dumb af, which you probably are if you think that this opening will win and you will trick them into going easy on you. Then you really pack a blow to their stomachs and you just won yourself elo. Wait, wouldn't that make the opening good!? Forget I ever mentioned anything about any good opening ever to you. Life is just what holds us back from death, and nothing is real. But all things aside this blog was the first in the series and just highlighting a meme opening. I hope you never ever play this opening in any form of professional game. And I have one more message for @VOB96 especially. And don't ban me for this.