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Fast forwarding Jennifer
Not another friggen 'coller'

Fast forwarding Jennifer

Dec 22, 2017, 8:53 PM 0

There’s a line in a song by Michelle Shocked that goes “….. you know your in the largest state of the union when your anchored down in Anchorage …..”. Well let me tell you,  as a chess aficionado, you know your in the farthest place on the planet when you anchored down in Melbourne, Australia. I suppose it could be worse, maybe New Zealand, but we don’t recognise them as serious contenders for the most remote civilised country in the world, not even as contenders for the list of civilised countries, but that’s another rant and I must stick to the topic.

Trying to watch live chess is a serious and tiring business for us here in Australia, games and live streams usually start at about 3 in the morning. Its almost impossible to join a chat stream and let of steam about what is happening. Imagine if you over their in Europe and the US could not let fly with a slanderous comment about the current world champs sulks, or tell Maurice that you are not fucking interested in a 48 move depth computer analyses of the current entirely uninteresting game by a couple of guys that are gonna agree to a draw at move 12 !!!! Imaging that, if you had to wait till the next day when its all over and hopefully you have calmed down enough from watching a you tube replay of the nights activities, no-one is listening to you !

Of course all is not doom and gloom for the watcher of the you tube replay. Consider for a moment the pleasure to be had watching Jennifer, Yasser and Maurice. Its all going swimmingly till oh, oh, Jennifer announces that “we have a coller”. Immediately your idiot alert kicks in and you move the progress button on the video a few millimetres to the right and hey presto that numbnut who wants to know what books he or she should read to become a GM, or what is the best opening for someone just starting the game, or ….. well any of the other mind-numbingly stupid questions they ask is instantly erased from history. It just did not happen in your universe, and it is one less thing to get on your goat.

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