Chess - The Worst Ways To Go

I hate Chess. I formerly liked and nearly loved it, so to speak. Whatever does it for that which despite so well and hard worked upon, does you an anti-solid that leaves your patience crushed and concerned?

(This blog post is about my journey and bittersweet experience with Chess. Feel free to skip to the games if you must.)

Is this agitation out of sudden misfortune? More than likely. Long term, how does this fare? Whatever, a little explanation should set plenty straight.

Phase One:

Someone asks, "How are you?", you reply, "Fine", to the point where you think you say fine even if things aren't fine, simply because that's what you're taught to say, rather than what you may have thought to say.

Phase Two:

Someone asks, "How are you?", you reply, "Alright, not bad, whatever..." to the obvious prolongment of their asking you why it is so. Enough gibberish at that to extend a one word simplicity, it wasn't for nothing but you realize that's saying something.

Phase Three:

Someone asks, "How are you?", you reply, "Fine", not because you cannot reply otherwise, but that it is the way things put themselves back together.

Now for the Chess scheme of things.

Phase 1: I started playing Chess, at eight and a half, with e4, initially learning the Scholar's mate and the usual knight and bishop moves. As a child, Chess wasn't my life. Even today, it remains a hobby bearing occasional victory.

Back then though, I played about 10 tournaments in Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India. During school, I made it to the team heading for State level in Bangalore. I even played 2 FIDEs back in childhood, resulting with 4/9 and 4/10. All in all, I solved Chess puzzles in my Chess academy, enough to acquire intermediate to advanced level thinking capability. And then, early seventh grade, I dropped. It was too much of an exaggeration and a competition. I wasn't the one to sacrifice examination for it.

Oh, what on Earth, my Phase 1 is lost in translation.

Anyway, Phase 2 will come up in a bit.

Six years passed and while some addressed me as a Chess player, I didn't take pride in it. I was almost convinced my Chess playing days were over. 

For reasons beyond comprehension as to why I landed in Northern India for my college days, there was a selection being held for Chess. I showed up at the very last moment and won 5 for 5 playing e4 openings. I was however a substitute for the team when the senior players assessed the team for the overall strength. And, the team won gold, meaning I did too. Was this enough propulsion for Phase 2. Uncannily so!

Phase 2: Mid 2016 up until, well, now.

In Early 2017, one of the seniors mentioned in a friendly match between 2 random players, "Let's play something new." And he happened to play Nd7 instead of Nc6. Nothing I hadn't seen before. But, a train of thought was born.

I know b3 and Bb2. I also know d3 and Nd2.

But what if, just what if...

I happen to go, b3, Bd2, c3, Qc2, d3 and Nd2?!

And the rest of my Chess.com birthed continuity is history.

I played my first ever game on here on September 10th, 2017 using this opening. I lost, provided I was just getting started. But this very opening as both white and black, though not perfect, proved much fruitful than Phase One. In 2017's inter-collegiate tournament, I won four for four while my team overall ended in fourth place. I lost the state selection round to a rather challenging opponent, and was out of contention having played on board C.

Year 3, I become college captain and win 3.5 of four rounds, make it through to state and win fifth place with a score of 4.5 out of 6. Pre-National level, however, proves unfortunate due to a clash with examination schedule, where I forego by default. Year 4, I remain college captain, win silver with the team, get qualified for state level, and for the first time ever, become state captain.

My opening, however, wore thin and I didn't score as well.

In 2020, my same opening in a real life tournament had me at 4 out 6, while a recent 2024 tournament using only this opening craftily had me at 6 out of 7, winning second place.

This is my Phase 2. I play primarily this, because it does a lot of things besides the conventional e4 and d4 that everyone recognizes and familiarizes with. But, playing c3 alone spans the beginning of inaccuracy. I was playing a 24 hour blitz arena last Saturday for several hours, where my rating shot up from 1700 to 1775 without a single loss, playing only my signature variation, only then to crumble down to 1600s, and here I am thwarted back to 1500s, outside of Arena ganes, knowing I'll crawl back up eventually. But this drop to 1600 and 1500 and right back up has been a pattern for quite some time.

I wrote a blog post, The Back to the 1700s Bullet Spirit discussing the same impediment as this one, but in Bullet.

This is what Phase 2 is about, almost being convinced that this pattern is, well, not over, but meant to be over with.

If I am to get sincere with Chess like never mastered before, which I most certainly can, with the boring e4 and d4 opening, which can lead to the most unique middlegame mastery and the entailing endgame aftermath, that will be my Phase 3.

As far as Phase 2 goes, where I come back as a bigger whole from Phase 1, I have reached a point where proving I can make it back to 1700 or my overall best at 1890s is meaningless. Phase 3, is...for a viably distant time.

Here are two recent games where my b3/b6 tactics shone brilliantly, and one among several that deteriorated with the third.

This whole b3 opening toppled with c3 for better or worse has people judging and underestimating me at times. Not that I blame em, this board language does prove an equivalent of body language.

For one of the times in my career as a software tester, a fellow tester and a good friend for the work life, told me that while defects raised by testers can get rejected, it is a good practice to control the frequency of too many being rejected. This was nothing new to me, especially for Chess.com, where my average statistics among 15000 games see slightly over 7500 wins and the rest being draws and losses. For every amazing game with the b3/b6 variation, follows an atrocious one. Consistency means how you carry yourself with Chess and come back as a whole in the wake of wider competition. There are the very worst ways to go.

To say my current stance with this variation is over is an understatement. But for the agitation that was always bound to be, it is for the time being, I vent this out...

I hate Chess! I HATE IT!!