Bipolar Chess- A Rollercoaster

So lets talk about it. I'm an open book - my arms wide open. Come here. Lets just hug. I have highs, lows and my mood is never really balanced. Never really sound.

I had a really good friend, Jerry, a German Shepard. He thought me what love really is. He was my balance. He's gone now. Devastating. That's a year ago. The thing with Bipolar is that you have to learn to live with it. It's Intense.

I've noticed some changes since starting chess - it actually helps me - maybe it doesn't help everyone - but it calms me down. You might be thinking that I get even more down when I have a low and lose - it does - it gets me into the game even more. With wins - my high is euphoric. Better than an orgasm. Almost. In both cases - lose or win - I'm studying quite much since I've got a coach - Mr. Gmoves.

So yes, we fell in love when I was just a kid - chess and I. We had some distance, for 47 years or so but we found each other again. We're holding hands once more. We're making love. We fight. I guess there will be some breakups too but in the end - we're never leaving each other again. Not even when death comes knocking on the door. I think I'll be doing those tactics in the afterlife - if there is such a thing.

We're a great team. We belong together, it's insane and not at the same time, just like falling in love. For the moment it's like getting your first girl/boyfriend - having sex like rabbits, drinking milk and eating cookies. That's what my first girlfriend and I did. Thinking about nothing else. 24/7. Like every relationship, it will mature, grow into a deep friendship to enjoy every day. That's the beauty with this game.

Like I said, I'm an open book and I don't mind putting it out there. Maybe some understanding arises, its all about knowledge. I still have dreams - some which I'll never reach, never touch and never see. Some though, are very real. Like chess. I really don't know how strong or weak I will become - like you all know - I'm 52 and there are some limits but I don't care. I'm in love just going to enjoy the ride.

I think it's wonderful, the engagement, devotion and I'm more than happy to being on the train, shuffling that charcoal into the fire - making that train break the sound-barrier. I'm on a ride to who knows where. There's really no destination. It's life, a little bit of heaven, a little bit of hell. Tears and smiles. Screams and whispers. Like a yo-yo. It's rock 'n roll. It's Ludwig van Beethoven. Pablo Picasso. Charles Bukowski. This is Bipolar chess. 

Your's 'JackieTheSwede'