A Minecraft Movie Movie Review

If you were wondering, yes... brainrot has its own genre.

I went to go see this movie with 2 of my friends mostly to make fun of it all. No other expectations.

Before I announce what I thought of the film, let me just say... I can't tell what other people thought of it. Why, you ask? Because I have a weird feeling that 99% of reviews weren't really true, audiences just gave it 5 stars bc it was basically a 2-hour-long meme. BUT... I can't imagine a different Minecraft movie. So, grab your flint & steel and let's do this.

Welcome to A Minecraft Movie, movie review.

Mark my words: this film will go down in history. It's so BAD... that it's just SO good. 🤣

Here are all my notes:

• Even though the entire movie was insanely cheesy and stupid, the first 10 minutes were especially insanely cheesy and stupid 🤣
• The musical numbers tho 🙏😭
• "Your head is huge..."
  "hrrm..." ( The only appropriate response for a Villager )
• We need to see more Minecraft in the real world and not just some random Villager that spawned in and got hit by a car, leading him to fall in love with Henry's school principal 💩🤣
• The scene when Henry looked into the Enderman's eyes was super weird and felt very unneeded; for a minute I did get worried he was about to become brainwashed or something stupid like that I'm so glad that didn't actually happen; it would have made the film like 67 times worse
• Why the heck did they keep calling Henry "Hank"... so many absolutely random questions I have rn...
• “There was nobody better on planet earth than Jack to play Steve and bring him to life” - Jared Hess ( Director of A Minecraft Movie )
  ...that's just glaze, my bro; how 'bout we compare what he looks like in the movie, and what he looks like in the g-
• Nobody is going to see this movie in IMAX... sorry to crush your dreams, Warner Brothers but... no way that's happening...
• I absolutely loved the scene when Henry, Garrett, Nat, and Dawn met Steve for the first time; NOT just because he said his famous line ( "I... AM STEVE" ) but bc he was obliterating all those zombies and stuf; that was pretty 🔥
• I didn't understand why when Garrett was evicted, instead of going to find a place to stay or get money or anything, he went to a stranger's storage unit where random items were being auctioned off... huh?
• At the beginning of the film, when they are all transported to the Overworld, why didn't they just drop the Tesseract... orb... cube... thingy, turn around, and go back to the real world? I mean, I guess you wouldn't really have a MOVIE or whatever, but... 🤣🤣🤣
• I was disappointed we didn't get to see more of Steve selling doorknobs 🤣 ( The part where he squeezes his food together to form a cube tho; how the heck does this movie exist frfr 🙏😭 )
• So... you know how in the first teaser trailer we ever got of this film Dawn said "what the he-double hockey sticks" within the first 20 seconds of the video? Well, they changed that; in the final cut of the film, she says "heck"... it's just more proof that movie trailers try to seem more adult ( Even for a dumb movie like Lilo & Stitch ) because they want to appeal to everybody, even though most adults are going to suffer through movies like these because their kids want to go; no Dad is pulling up to "A Minecraft Movie" unless forced to 🤣🤣🤣
• Y'all... I started the clap for "I Am Steve", "Chicken Jockey", and when the credits started rolling; yeah, you heard me... 🤫🧏
• Steve and Garrett's relationship was so freaking weird 🤣
  "Definitely had a bit of bromance goin' on but nothing too shady..." - @rbrasington 🔥
• Jack Black delivered his lines so dramatically for absolutely no reason; this is a Minecraft movie... it's not that deep... 🤣
  "Typical Jack Black: he's very overdramatic, he absolutely has to break into song, and he always has to rock" - @rbrasington 🔥
• "Another Minecraft Movie" coming soon to theaters
• "Yet Another Minecraft Movie" coming soon to theaters
• "I Am Steve" line delivered differently than in the og teaser trailer
• I can't believe my bro Jason Momoa was Aquaman 🙏😭
  My bro fell off harder than Snow White
• When the girls split off from the rest of the group to find a map, I thought that was a pretty stupid excuse for them to get lost and find Dennis since after like 2 minutes of trying to get a map, they just gave up and went to find Steve, Garrett, and Henry
• Since most of the film was complete and utter insanity, when Garrett blew up, I honestly wouldn't have been that surprised if he never came back 🤣
• Not as AI generated as I thought it would be 🤷
• The CGI was kinda believable, tbh 🤔 ( "I thought it was as believable as a Minecraft movie can be" - @rbrasington 🔥 )
• This could be because I saw a few behind-the-scenes videos on this film, but I felt like it was kind of obvious in a couple of scenes when a set was being used 🤷
• I was surprised Warner Brothers didn't delete any of the "quotes-turned-memes" out of the final film like "chicken jockey", "I am Steve", "flint & steel" etc...
  Respect 🔥
• Lastly, I wish I had played Minecraft for at least like an hour before seeing this movie; I went through a phase and got pretty deep into the game a few years back... and then I never played again; usually I go in and out of those kinds of phases ( Example: Roblox ) but... it just didn't happen with Minecraft; I don't know why... ( It might have had something to do with the fact that I was genuinely scared out of my shorts whenever I saw a creeper, but... idk ) Anyways, the reason I probably should have played before coming to the theater wasn't even because I wanted to see how it all connected... it was bc of the post-credits scene; in the post-credits scene, we see Steve come back to his old house where he is greeted to a woman named Alex who is now living there; I had no idea who that was; it had been SO MUCH TIME, since I last played that I couldn't for the LIFE of me remember who that was; and then later, my brother's friend who had probably played Minecraft at least once in the last 6-7 years told me that Alex was the OTHER default player you can be in the game ( Steve being the first ) so, bottom line is, I think you can expect a sequel coming in the near future...

My final thoughts: not as trash as I thought it would be but definitely still brainrot.

I mean...
*Clears Throat*
Brain growth.
Yup...
Definitely...
.................................................................................for sure.

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!

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And here's another sigma blog you should read: SIGMA