Another Costly Error.  Another Missed Opportunity

Another Costly Error. Another Missed Opportunity

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I've lost one game in the last eleven rounds of OTB play, and this position is from that game.  The game is young, and this is move 12.  My opponent as white has already given me an edge, and now I have a chance to get a decisive advantage.  Unfortunately, I've also burned a lot of clock a few moves earlier, and while I did spend several minutes on this move I didn't find the complete idea, and ended up playing something tame.

 

 

I spent a lot of time before this position and afterward in search of the right ideas.   This time I didn't find my opportunities, and it left me short of time near move 40, where I committed an error that cost me the game.  That's chess. 
So, why didn't I find 12..a4 and it's followup?  During the game, I felt that there was something there.  The moves themselves are not beyond my ability to calcualate or understand.  Why did I miss it? 
I don't know the answer to that question yet.  I'm still thinking about it.  I hate losing.  I especially hate it when I feel like I didn't do my best.