The Seven Deadly Sins of Chess

Chess grandmaster Jonathan Rowson once claimed that there are seven deadly chess sins (or psychological failings) that culminate in players making errors. These are in our Thinking (poor vision), Blinking (missing critical positions), Wanting (hyperintention and inflexibility), Materialism (misevaluation and oversight), Egoism (half-sighted and fearful), Perfectionism (paralysis and time trouble) and Looseness (drifting concentration). In this blog, I will not be covering any of these, because the most abridged conclusion I can give you from Jonathon Rowson's work is to "Be confident and have some gumption", which would be absolutely terrible to have as a conclusion.

Instead, I will be focusing on the original Seven Deadly Sins. These are Lust, Greed, Sloth, Pride, Gluttony, Wrath and Envy. The Seven Deadly Sins originated from Tertullian over 1800 years ago and are still relevant today, so throughout this blog I will be connecting each of these sins to chess. 

Contents

• Lust
• Greed
• Sloth
• Pride
• Gluttony
• Wrath
• Envy
• Conclusion

Lust

Marriage is like taking a pawn on B2 in the Siicilian Najdorf

Vasyl Ivanchuk

As seen above, when Magnus Carlsen was asked why most top-rated chess players are single, he quipped that it's because "Most top chess players are really.... picky". While this was said in jest, it begs the question: at what point in chess does a person's favourite mate become a checkmate rather than a soulmate? Grandmaster Boris Spassky famously stated "$ex or chess? Well, that depends on the position...". When does this lust in chess incite a player to focus so much on the King that they end up sacrificing the Queen in the process? Perhaps it's as simple as not being able to find the best lines and making the wrong moves in the process.

Paul Morphy was quoted in saying "The ability to play chess is the sign of a gentleman. The ability to play chess well is the sign of a wasted life". This suggests that lust in chess is a relentless pursuit that can become all-consuming, until the appetite for chess outweighs the desire for a life outside of it.

Greed

It's just a free pawn, you tell yourself, playing chess the way Goldilocks would. She barged in and tried each bowl of porridge, sat on each chair and laid on each bed. And just like Goldilocks, now you will have to sleep in the bed you made. The bears have caught you with their bare hands, because they are bears. You may try to escape but you've left yourself in a completely lost position because you neglected the 'bear' necessities in chess involving king safety. Greedy in chess? Join the 'cub', and you did.

Greed has been warned against throughout history, not just in fairy tales like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, but all the way back to ancient Greek mythology and The Midas Touch. And just like King Midas, you wish that every move you make turns to gold. These pawns aren't just free, they are priceless, and yet you are spent because you touched every single piece you could reach, taking everything in your path, and losing the King himself in the process.

Sloth

Jørn Sloth is a chess player who had the potential to be one of the all-time greats, however, as his last name suggests, he chose to focus on the slowest chess form instead. Mr. Sloth plays correspondence chess, where he would post his moves by mail, which often took over a week per move. In fact, Mr. Sloth won the ICCF - 8th Correspondence Chess World Championship, giving him the prestigious honour of being the World Champion of Correspondence Chess. How long did this 15-man single match tournament go for? 6 years! That is an average of 5.2 months, 22 weeks, or 156 days per game.

Mr. Sloth may be a Correspondence Chess Grandmaster, however, when playing with faster time controls, he only reached the level of Fide master. While this is still impressive, it begs the question, how much could have he achieved if his name was Mr. Vigor or Mr. Energy?

Pride

When looking into pride in chess, I asked the much loved and ever reliable ChatGPT, which replied by unequivocally stating that Grandmaster Simon Williams was in the LGBTQ+ community. While researching further, it shockingly turned out that ChatGPT was wrong about Simon's personal preferences. However, when mentioning people who have the most pride, those with orange hair (or orange in general) are usually near the top of the list. ChatGPT was not wrong about Simon's pride. He is a man who proudly labels himself as the GingerGM, something which has gotten to his head, as hair usually does.

His popularity was rising, and his rating was slipping when he proudly chose to direct a pension scheme, taking advantage of the elderly. He was ordered to pay £730,000, and yet, a few years later he was able to settle, having only paid £160,000. However, his pride remained, never admitting his role in the fraud. His chess and commentary career has since taken a dive, leading him to delve into the world of chessboxing in a sad attempt to regain any kind of relevancy he once held.

ChatGPT also wrongly listed Grandmaster Nigel Short as being in the LGBTQ+ community. Nigel Short, the man who once claimed with pride that men are biologically better suited to chess than women, before citing his wife's superior emotional intelligence as proof that women possess non-chess related skills. He was also sanctioned for his use of the word dunderhead. Completely unrelatedly, Grandmaster Judit Polgar has as record of 6 wins to 3 against Nigel Short. 

While there are no Grandmasters who are openly in the LGBTQ+ community, it's important to note that in 2021, chess.com released a statement in support of the LGBTQ+ community, which hopefully means that in time, ChatGPT will be able to give a correct response. 

Gluttony

Doctors Order Diet and Exercise to Pep Up Fischer’s Chess Game

L.A. Times, 1992

was the title of an article from 1992 which stated that Bobby Fischer needed to go on a strict diet because of how much he ate since emerging from his seclusion, which had been dulling his play. He was down 2-1 (with two draws) after 5 games in his rematch against Boris Spassky in 1992. Although it was not an official world championship match, it certainly was built as one, with a mammoth prize of $5,000,000 US dollars on the line. After taking on the doctors' orders and listening to the physicians who prescribed Fischer with a lot of walking and swimming, he ended up winning the match 10-5. 

Bobby Fischer decided not to be a glutton for punishment and never played competitively again after this match. His appetite for chess had been resolved. However, Bobby Fischer wasn't the only chess legend who had a penchant for indulgence when it came to food. During the 1978 World Chess Championship, Anatnoly Karpov would enjoy various flavours of yoghurt during his games. Viktor Korchnoi's team accused Karpov of hiding secret codes inside the yoghurt, where the flavour yoghurt he received could indicate what he should do next. This was taken so seriously that the games were stopped, and a decision was reached that Karpov could only have violet coloured yoghurt from then on, given at a set time.

Ironically, Karpov just loved eating yoghurt and ended up winning 6-5 after 32 grueling matches. One could argue that the energy richness of yoghurt may have been the difference maker, whereas, if he was a glutton for french fries and fried chicken, his energy may have dropped and Korchnoi might have become the World Chess Champion. Someone needs to inform Mr. Sloth about the amount of energy there is in yoghurt.

Wrath

In chess, wrath is seen when a player is 'on tilt', which is where their frustration often creates bad decisions. You may feel so angry that you begin to push all of your pieces forward, because who needs basic positional principles? You decide to be aggressive, be be aggressive, rather than seeking support for your underlying anger issues that may or may not be damaging your home life.

You may also sacrifice pieces as if they were Nicolas Cage in The Wicker Man, screaming out “Oh, no, not the bees! Not the bees! AAAAAHHHH! Oh, they're in my eyes! My eyes! AAAAAHHHHH! AAAAAAGGHHH!” which must sting for them. This is all ironic, as bees are exactly what Hikaru Nakamura (a content creator) names his bishop pair (which is why I thanked Hikaru earlier, and he, like Nicolas Cage, also has two eyes).

 Envy

In chess, each piece envies another. The King wishes to move more and attack like the Queen, while the Queen dreams of being placed in the same regard to the King. The Bishops long to move on a square that isn't always the same colour and to be able to jump over pieces. The Knights desire to cover long distances instead of being referred to as an L and nothing more.

However, the Pawns hold the most envy. They aspire to not be led to the slaughter and disregarded. They yearn to make it to the other side of the board to become something else, and yet they rarely achieve it. The Pawn wishes to not get stuck, and yet they are stuck feeling absolutely useless while being used by others. And sadly, Pawns envy other Pawns the most. They envy the Pawns that become something more. The Pawns that work together and aren't sacrificed unnecessarily. Yet, without an army of these disposable Pawns, winning a game of chess would be near impossible. Sadly, that is their res'Pawns'ibility.

Conclusion

 While I could go into each individual sin and break down the impact they have had, and what could be done to not fall for these cardinal sins, I have decided to take a more abridged and succinct route in reaching my conclusion. Simply put, the best way to overcome the seven deadly sins in chess is to be confident and have some gumption.


Which of the Seven Deadly Sins most fits you? Let me know in the comments, and have a beautiful day