Why I Hate the Queen's Opening Dances on the Chess Board!

I hate openings where the queen jumps out in the second or third move and dances around on the board, nervously hopping squares. It’s the most annoying thing ever.

For example, the Wayward Queen Attack. White plays e4 first, and the moment black’s e-pawn lands on the e5 square, the queen comes flying out of her d1 square and lands on the h5 square. Ugh!!

Sure, I know that Nc6 is the best move in this situation, so that the queen won’t think about rudely capturing my e5 pawn, after I chase her away by playing g3. But then she flies back, not to her cozy little palace but to f3. And while she slows down as the game goes on, it’s just annoying to see this single piece jumping around the board, hoping to collect my pieces as she goes.

Sure, I know that Nc6 is the best move in this situation, so that the queen won’t think about rudely capturing my e5 pawn, after I chase her away by playing g3. But then she flies back, not to her cozy little palace but to f3. And while she slows down as the game goes on, it’s just annoying to see this single piece jumping around the board, hoping to collect my pieces as she goes.

It’s not a completely stupid move btw. The whole point behind this opening is that black often panics, and won’t think two-moves deep. So, black doesn't play Nc6, and immediately tries to chase the queen by playing g3. And the queen takes e5, and checks black, and then while black is busy averting the check, the queen eats up the rook at h8. And even if black handles this situation well, white has nothing to lose, if they are careful.

Let me tell you why I hate it though! This opening is annoyingly rude to players who are not as aggressive as the ones that play it. Not everyone is here to play chess with a blood thirst and vengeance. Some are here just for fun. They want to relax and experiment with their moves. Such openings are just insulting to beginners. Some may claim that this improves resilience and humbles you as you improve in chess. But, I don’t care. I hate these moves. Especially because they drive me into a rage where I feel like punishing the opponent for their aggression. And I don’t like that vengeful version of me.

Another similar opening is the Scandinavian Defense. After 1. e4 d5, white usually plays exd5, and the queen rushes forward to take back. And white would naturally try to chase the queen away by playing Nf6. But the queen won’t leave just yet. She will hang around, and keep posing checks and threats to the rook and other pieces. It maddens me. Not because I can’t handle it. I can. It’s just annoying. I don’t know how else to explain it. I mean I have won more than 75 percent of games where I played white and the opponent played the Scandinavian, so it’s not about the frustration of losing. I just find it annoying. I can’t repeat that word enough times to establish how annoying it really is.

And you might think that the variation of the Scandinavian where the queen retreats back to her palace, after the Nf6, would make me smile. NO. It makes me even me even more annoyed. Why? Just why?