Dropped More Chess Rating :)
Dropped More Chess Rating 
A few hours ago, I just dropped a lot more in my chess.com “rapid rating” and of course this is never really fun…but I am smiling
Okay, not at first; allow me to elaborate, so it makes more sense.
A chess milestone I’ve been aiming at lately has been reaching 2000+ chess.com “rapid rating.” I’ve been in the 1970s and 1980s range for about a month and my current highest was 1985 rating. I held this rating range for a roughly a week and a half, but that is when I began dropping. There are many ups and down in rating fluctuations (as always is common), but the general trend has been down and rating-wise a bit of a slump began.
If anything, I wanted the rating milestone more than ever, but no matter how optimistic one can be, we can’t use sheer force of will to get better results; mood and staying positive might help for mindset, but there are limits to what is possible. For instance, a chess beginner learning the rules can’t become a chess grandmaster (GM) overnight - no matter how optimistic they are and how much force of will they believe to have. That optimistic mindset may assist them on their chess journey, but the expectations of what is possible must be realistic.
Realistically, I have a very good chance of eventually reaching 2000+ chess.com rapid rating; it will take objective ability to reach though; it requires more than simply my determination, no matter how much I might enjoy that milestone.
How “Low” Did I Drop?
I am currently (only temporarily, I’m sure!) below 1900 for the first time in about 4 months. At the time of this writing, I am at 1891 rating. I’ve had larger drops over time before and so have many others, but we have to realize this is not variance-heavy bullet or blitz, but slower rapid when gains and losses tend not to be as severe for a session. When my numbers should be going up, it goes down. Why?
It could be a number of reasons and not all of them are under my control. It could be the natural deviations of variance. It could be something physiological like lack of sleep, or nutrition. It could even be something mood related within the subconscious. Whatever the reason, I can only work on the things under my control and if I drop for something like variance for the time being, then so be it!
Why Am I Smiling? (Part 1)
I try to stay optimistic while some people tell me that my confidence and perseverance are off the charts, but you know what? I am not smiling to cover up something inside. There is no facade to shelter the most inner emotions. I really am smiling! I will openly admit that one of my first reactions right after I dropped under 1900 was a disappointed sigh though. I was more annoyed and a bit discouraged. I most certainly was not smiling.
Whenever my day is going poorly for me, or I don’t like how my emotions make me feel, sometimes I’ll simply go to sleep. Taking a nap, or even going to bed early for the day has the added benefit that when I wake up, chances are that we’ll be on a new day, or at least most of the current day has passed and I can move on. This is what I did here. I trudged up the stairs to the kitchen (probably resembling more of Bruce Wayne’s scowl than smiling) and got something small to eat. I went to sleep perhaps after half an hour or so of eating and lingering around the kitchen.
Shortly after I woke up (many hours later), I sat in bed looking up at the ceiling and around the room. I was reminded of something and I smiled.
Are You Crazy? Celebrating This!?
The day before I had just finished reading Phil Hellmuth’s autobiography, Poker Brat. One chapter of his life (chapter 28 in the book) began in September 1999. Phil (famous poker player who also won the World Series of Poker Main Event in 1989) was staying at the Four Seasons Hotel with his wife Kathy and he toasted the fact that he was getting staked (“staked” in poker is when you have investor[s] purchase equity in your poker. The player agrees to give a certain percentage of their winnings for a certain period of time in exchange for accepting a certain amount of money from the investor to fund the poker).
His wife Kathy was confused and asked, “Are you crazy? Celebrating this!?” She thought he was celebrating that he just lost $7,500 last week and fell down to $ 1 million in net worth. Phil clarified how that wasn’t what he was celebrating, “I’m toasting the fact that I’m smart enough to get staked…I’m toasting the fact that we will never go broke. Raise a glass to great money management!”
By not risking any of his own money once he dropped below a million dollars, he wisely prevented ever going broke with poker. He was smart enough to not risk his own financial life. By the way, his investor (another famous poker pro at the time) Ted Forrest did well on staking Phil Hellmuth. In November of 1999, Ted gave Phil $20,000 for cash games in Atlantic City and Phil ran that up by winning $90,000 that trip (which they split 50/50). That gave them some breathing room of profits to work with again.
My online chess rating is nothing like high stakes poker, but I have some silver lining to celebrate too. That is why I am smiling!
Why Am I Smiling? (Part 2)
One of the reasons I was smiling was because as I was thinking and looking around my bedroom, one of my chess sets caught my attention. I just adjusted the pieces over the Black and Silver (Excalibur King Arthur Electronic Set) chess board (I keep the magnetic set near my bed for whenever I’m reading a chess book before sleep, or for whenever some opening novelty strikes me to analyze its worth). Awaking up from that nap after my chess rating drop, it was now evening and the sun was going down. My bedroom has a large window and the sunshine was an autumn orange. Perhaps the way the sun glistened off of the silver on the chess set I was holding, or perhaps simply my poetic mind misinterpreting the sunset as an aubade of dawn…whatever the reason. I had an overwhelming feeling that glowed inside myself; I could feel that “I love chess.” Of course, what person doesn’t enjoy one of their hobbies? This concentration of feeling caught me off guard though. Sometimes you find sentiment in the strangest places. I knew for a long time that I loved the game of chess, but perhaps I didn’t realize just how much I loved the game until that moment.
When things go badly, some people count their blessings and this sparks a realization and thankfulness within themselves. This is a powerful exercise, but I feel like it isn’t proportional to count life blessings (which I have an overflowing amount to be thankful for as well) when contemplating something smaller scale (like the game of chess). It is only fair to fight chess with chess! Miraculously for me, I’ve got plenty of things I’m grateful for in the chess community.
This Is For You! All of My chess.com Friends Are The Best!
It is one thing to derive personal satisfaction from something, but it is entirely different when you can share that joy with others. I have over 1,000 chess.com friends and sometimes it feels like every one of them is actively connecting with me in at least one way. In that solid group of online chess friends, probably 100 or 200 of them I have communication with at least once every other week and probably about 50 of them I share even more with. Some chess.com friends and I have shared voice calls. Some chess.com friends and I have exchanged pictures of ourselves to match a “face to the voice.” Some chess.com friends I’ve even been able to meet with and get to know in real life.
I won’t list all of you like a speech, but you all know who you are and I’m thankful to live in an era when technology such as the internet can connect us all together, despite living thousands of miles apart in some cases. All of my chess.com friends really are the best, so celebrate in what we share together!
A Few Things Chess Has Gifted Me
I say “gifted” because sometimes things like chess give rise to opportunities and experiences in such a way where it is hard to feel something other than it being a gift.
I have a place in this chess community: https://www.chess.com/blog/KeSetoKaiba/kesetokaiba-username-meaning
I have many chess goals already accomplished: https://www.chess.com/blog/KeSetoKaiba/puzzle-rush-survival-50-goal-reached
I am (as of really recently) now a chess streamer: https://www.chess.com/blog/KeSetoKaiba/kesetokaiba-is-now-a-chess-streamer
I have many things I wouldn’t have even imagined possible just over 4 years ago when joining chess.com and getting into chess. It is difficult to ignore this evidence and not feel like it is a gift to be a part of.
What About Chess Rating?
Whether online ratings or OTB chess ratings, it is hard for some not to obsess over them (even if just a little!). However, notice how little I generally mentioned rating? Other than from context, it is strangely absent here. This is deliberate. Simply put, my experience is probably somewhat relatable to every chess player on some level - rating isn’t important to that! When a beginner facepalms at missing a hanging Queen, or when a top grandmaster (GM) shakes their head in disbelief at losing a pawn…it is all the same feeling. We all share the awful feeling of losing and share the satisfaction of winning as well as sharing the excitement of the game. We all know the feelings and experience the same emotions: regardless of chess rating. Rating 1800s? 1900s? It is all the same. It bothers the individual more than any observer in almost every case; no one remembers the inevitable bumps on the journey, they see the milestones and accomplishments and the experiences.
Most probably won’t remember every detail shared, but they almost certainly remember how they felt and I want all of my chess.com friends to feel absolutely amazing. I hope even a fraction can feel as honored as I am to be a part of this journey with everyone and sharing it all together as a chess community.
Here is a toast to everyone and the blessings gifted to us through chess!
