Rage In Chess
Rage In Chess
Do I rage in chess? No.
Getting upset to the point of "raging" anger is a learned trait. Feeling upset a bit, or dying "on the inside", is probably the standard reaction everyone feels to some degree, but the "raging" and throwing or breaking things is learned through modeling - especially likely from watching online players like GM Eric Hansen (@erichansen) throw his chair upon blundering a pawn, or GM Magnus Carlsen slamming his laptop shut after losing a rated game.
I naturally don't tend to get upset in this way and NEVER even came close to raging until 1600+ rating or so (probably nothing to do with the rating level itself). Around that point, I started slowing imitating some of the chess streamers I've seen (pretty sure it was on an unconscious level at that point) and I noticed myself starting to tilt, or slam my fist down on that table after losing a game. It felt good; more than I'd like to admit.
Well...sort of. It is somewhat tough to describe, but in the exact moment, there is some sense of stress that leaves you temporarily and this is probably what reinforces the behavior to repeat itself, but I noticed what I was doing and also had a few bad tilting sessions and the anger inside me felt awful. This is going to sound a bit storytelling like, but I was so upset at tilting my chess rating once that I decided to go for a run to relieve some of the awful feeling I had inside. Strange part? It was after midnight from late-night-tilting. So here I am: running down the streets of my neighborhood to relieve stress; in the dark, with an awful feeling in my stomach from getting flagged and my head spinning from my lost rating. As if this couldn't get any more ridiculous, I even tripped over some vegetation while crossing the ditch on the side of the road. Not just tripped - I mean, literally full speed running trip and safety roll as I slid further into the ditch.
I didn't even think much of it. I just got up in a constant motion and kept running. It wasn't until a minute later I realized I was bleeding a bit on my arm and face. Must have been the concrete of the road, or maybe some plant thorns, or something; I don't even know what.
I was fine later. I was more emotionally messed up from the tilting chess than physically hurt. I probably ran about three miles that night and the running did help relieve some of my anger, but this one case was by far the worst it ever got for me with my chess.
Perhaps this event was a bit more dramatic of a turning point than others might have faced, but that was the last time I ever really tilted hard emotionally.
From then on, I created a rating stop-loss system for myself. This prevents me from losing too many points at once. I still have my heart sink after a painful loss, but now I literally have no desire to rage. I've never broken anything or threw anything etc. from raging. Luckily, I stopped myself before it ever got that far. It was this instance that made me realize how my rage was beginning to manifest and it wasn't something I liked. It was also this time that I better realized through introspection that my "raging" was a learned behavior and that I was basically just copying the people I watched like an actor taking on a role.
We should learn to imitate the good habits from stronger chess players and avoid the bad ones we see, but sometimes we don’t differentiate them too well until after the fact.
Chess is greatly logical. You want something stone-cold about chess? It doesn't care about your emotions. The best objective moves are there to be played as are the mistakes - regardless of how you feel. Getting negatively emotional just gets in the way of your mental capacity. There is science and psychology to reinforce the fact that when people rage, or get upset, their body literally loses the ability to think clearly; this can't be helpful for chess. Raging in chess is simply handicapping yourself if you aren't able to control your emotions. If you can't emotionally handle the chess, then that is the time you should quit and cut your losses, rather than tilt further.
Do I ever rage in chess? No. As one can condition yourself to "learn" how to rage, one can also unlearn it by conditioning yourself. In fact, I'd probably describe my reaction to losing more like IM Eric Rosen (@IMRosen). I'm fairly calm generally, but when I lose: I'm internally screaming "reeeee!" or "Gah, my rook." xD Perhaps one day in the future I might decide to try streaming chess. Then I'll let everyone judge for themselves how I play and react. I play to win and I play seriously, but I simply don't rage in chess; if that is stone-cold like GM Gata Kamsky (@TigrVShlyape), then so be it, but chess is a logical game about thinking and getting emotionally involved in a negative manner simply handicaps your cognitive ability. No, I don't rage in chess (or anything really), but I hope this story is somewhat relatable to some and perspective changing for others.
