The worst tournament game of my life

This afternoon at the Denver Chess Club Fall Classic, I played what may be the most abysmal and embarrassing tournament game of my life, or at any rate the worst game I can remember. Yes, I was a little tired; yes, I was playing an expert; and yes, I faced an opening I'd never seen before, but none of those facts excuses my awful play. I feel like I should be demoted by 200 rating points and publicly mocked. Sadly, no such catharsis awaits; the best I can do is write a blog post about the debacle and NEVER EVER play such bad chess again, ESPECIALLY not in a tournament I flew 800 miles and rented a car to get to.