finding a couple decent games in the elo 300s

i can enjoy losing a good game, but bad games are no fun to win. ive been forcing myself to play at least one live game every day, because i dont believe in subsisting entirely on bots. but i realized i was starting to feel really down on the live games that u tend to get in the 300 elo. 

im new and bad, but my opponents often have a year or more experience on me and are still also bad, and in predictable ways.

i was developing a pattern of letting my opponents get away with random aggressive moves because im not fast enough to figure out how to punish them, focusing instead on getting my position solid and castling, losing pieces to the aggressive tactics until im down a lot of material, and then finally taking advantage of the open board and their exposed king to deliver a checkmate.

the first time this pattern of game happened, it felt like a satisfying comeback. but when it keeps happening, i just feel sad for both of us.

the game review graphs say it all, really:

that doesnt look like beautiful chess. that looks like something has gone wrong in both our lives.

i decided the only way to break out of my bad attitude was to play a whole bunch of live games in one day, until i found some that were fun, and then focus on those.

before long, i found myself in a game where my opponent seemed to also be trying to be principled, just like in real chess! and when i got low on time and started rushing, they were able to actually deliver a checkmate.

id never been checkmated in the middlegame before! only in endgames where they have a huge advantage, or in cheap openings i dont see coming cuz im slow at seeing.

in the other game i enjoyed, they opened with g3. aha, i thought, theyre going for a fianchetto! i know what that is from the pet openings course! so i set up to defend the diagonal. we did an entire 4 moves of book, which might be the most book ive seen at this level.

in my last post i had written how determined i was to keep an eye out for b2 weaknesses. and in this game, well, i missed the b2 weakness. but! as soon as i made the bishop move instead, i realized id missed it. i didnt need for the game review to tell me.

unlike in that game from last post where i missed the b2 weakness twice, this time i went in on my second opportunity and nommed a couple pieces.

i was very satisfied with having applied my chess intentions from last post to a real game in this one! thats more important to me than winning. and thats why i keep writing these things.

i thought it was a really solid game for two 300s. we lasted all the way until move 8 before our moves started becoming questionable. it was at least a couple minutes before the first blunder. we were both much more accurate than in any other game ive played in the 300s, tho thats partly because they resigned at an appropriate time to resign. as if i too am not fully capable of blundering into getting mated even at a huge material advantage!

these two games may still be low level chess, but its low leveled chess from people who are trying to play better. i bet all three of us will be much higher level in a year, whereas a lot of folks in the 100-400s just seem to enjoy playing the way they play. great for them, not enjoyable for me.

after that it was back to chaotic games, but by the end of the day id climbed my elo to 400. so i suppose i should cherish the ugly games while i have them, cuz if i keep improving it wont be long before i leave the 300 level world, and all of its chaos, behind for good.