Life is like a carrot

Mar 29, 2009, 3:41 AM |


You may have noted I've been trying to "beef up" my profile with completely non-chess related contents from about a year ago, sorry! 


This "blog" is well over a year old (from 28th Jan. 2008) but has been popular amongst friends so thought I'd share it with the chess community world, hope you enjoy & maybe even find it "insightful"! Smile



Life is like a carrot


To be honest I don’t know whether a carrot grows from a carrot seed or a baby carrot which gets recycled out of the big carrots and gets stuck back in the ground.  Unlucky.  And no I don’t believe in reincarnation.  Would be cool though if reincarnation was real & you could consciously remember your previous life as a mushroom or a zebra.  If reincarnation was real would mushrooms get reincarnated!?


Anyway, you grow in this ground, and you get used to the filth that is the Earth.  (See the great pun, ey!)  Then you get pulled out… I’m not quite sure where I’m going with this… peeled, boiled and chopped up.  But you do get a good warm bath out of it?  Being peeled must hurt though and chopping must pretty much bring about the end to a carrots life. 


That was supposed to be some awesome illustration but… yeah.


So the sky is very clear tonight.  Which means you can see the stars.  If you don’t notice these things, you should.  I’m not saying you should go into cosmos astrology, start reading horoscopes (although they’re worth reading for a laugh), etc.  Just notice it, take a look at it, appreciate it.


Today looking up at the stars made me think about the Lion King.   Now I must emphasise how we’ve come about this recent “obsession” with regards to the Lion King.  I haven’t got as far round as to deducing the meaning from the film (the first & original that is, not later sequels which I haven’t seen) all I know though is that it does hold a meaning.  It is certainly in league with films such as Gladiator which should be watched by a matter of obligatory statute (law).  And if you come across my policy on education you’ll find out the full list of films which must be shown to the young carrots of today to beat some sense into their little heads.  I won’t go into the problems of the yob culture tonight. 


Anyway, the Lion King, I am confident there is a meaning in the film, what it is, I will reach this verdict once upon another day.  The reason it became reminisced frequently in the not so far distant past is, Andrew, Rupert and myself found ourselves answering 100’s of questions sourced by Andrew, one of which was “saddest moment in your life” which lead to “when was the last time you cried” and so on till “saddest film” and that’s when the Lion King came about, I remember it being the first ever film I saw at the cinema, I believe so anyway, my father took my for my 6th or around that figure birthday.  Anyway.


 Just think about the film.  The scene which I think needs to be highlighted is Mufasa’s death.  And if I had time to watch the entire film, the thing to remember is that Simba came back. 


So where were we, if anywhere?


Today, well yesterday now (Monday 28th January 2008) was a bog standard day.


The problem many people face is that “Monday morning feeling”.  I get it too.  But what I came to realise today is that everyone drags themselves out of bed, and gets on with their Monday.  And that’s the way it should be.  I feel a little more Spartan perception is needed to be adopted; just get on with it.  People who moan about it are irritating.  Everyone else has been through pretty much the same, they’ve had to get up and get to work / school.  And if everyone moaned Monday’s would be awful.  So whatever you’ve been up to (with exceptions), get up and go!  Did you know that moaning lowers intelligence, not just yours but the peoples who have to hear your moaning so refrain!


Ok rant over, hopefully that’s the only one for the day!


Although the news of the day… McDonalds are to be given the power which will enable them to award qualifications EQUIVILANT to GCSE’s, A-Levels and even PhD’s.  I think Mr Cartwright summed it up nicely, “When I heard it, I was going to just turn round and go home!”


The day proceeded.


Lunch time portrayed how seriously “tag” should be taken.  If someone is “it”, and is chasing you, you MUST run away, even if that involves running from the “lunch area” past the staff room, past the gym and from one end of the school to the other, down the drive way and actually out of the school…  It’s surprising how much stamina some people have, Rupert!


In the mid afternoon the sudden inspiration came about to cause controversy however I think details will be released in two years time where the scope for prosecution will pass… All that was done was the freedom of speech was exercised…



The food of the day has to be ham, lettuce sandwiches with mayonnaise!


The advice of the day is themed alongside the food of the day; it is best when making ham, lettuce sandwiches to find lettuce for the lettuce section, and not seek replacements should there be a lack of lettuce.  Cabbage is not an option.  How was I supposed to know, they’re both green and leaf like…


The invention of today is also alongside the food of the day theme.  Obviously lettuce needs to be washed, i.e. soaked under the tap, like apples, not just to give it that shine, but to wash off all that supermarket dust and handling germs… obviously just use water, no need for soap or washing up liquid.  The problem arises though when you end up with a soggy lettuce leaf, with copious amounts of water on.  If you shake it around you look like a bit of a twat, so the invention is a sophisticated contraption known as the lettuce dryer.  I mean it could be in the form of a mini clothing line with little pegs, or a bit like Victorian clothes drying rolling contraptions…  And so the poll vote (makes me laugh every time, poll volt!) of today is would you buy such a devise and which one would you prefer?  (Market Research, who knows I might have a business plan going on here…)


There is of course a downfall to the day and that was that instead of orange juice being brought, “breakfast juice” came about in our fridge, which is absolutely fine till it’s sensed by your taste buds.  Who even drinks that at breakfast? (Another poll vote!?) Orange and grapefruit DO NOT GO.  Thank you.


In the media accreditations have to go to Dom Joly and his programme “World Shut Your Mouth”, reminiscations of this programme came about in the early evening after stumbling across the DVD


In music, I would like to note that the song of the moment has to go to DHT and “Listen to your heart”.  On this occasion not the remix but the slow, piano, original version. 


And so we’re back with Bonnie, and our star gazing walk…


Conversation is nice, especially with nice people…


And as we have an Economics exam in 6 hours time, we should probably look over the syllabus & maybe even get some sleep in…


Thank you and good night (or whatever), till next time remember you can’t replace lettuce with cabbage or for that matter carrots.


And definitely not grapefruit. 


Wake up & go!  Take care