Nerd-Man beats the CoolDarkRiver with X-Ray Sacrifice Gambit Mate

Hey guys! This is Nerd-Man here, with the Nerd Reports! (Sorry I had to steal that from you, Isaac, but it was simply too good.) To say the least, my rapid rating is in the dumps and hovering around 830 (my high is around 1,000.) I thought I'd post this to record my journey to 1,000, as I call it, and not putting in my recent game against an outside friend I met two years ago seemed wrong.                                                                                                                                                        Don't get me wrong, CoolDarkRiver is some decent stuff-- and I typically have about a 55% win rate when playing him. Half of our games end in draws. To beat him, I need to be in my absolute prime of focus, and then I can only best him sometimes. That being said, while I'm rated 830 I can usually play a fairly even game against 900 or below without too much extra effort. Anyone above that, and I'm just screwed.                                                                                                Anyway, I was playing him today, and this is my crazy finish, me as White

I know the rook and bishop sacrifices were sort of stupid... and this is on improved accuracy analysis... but at this point I only had 30 seconds left and was sort of panicked. I knew full well that the gambit probably wasn't going to work, but I wanted to do it for positional value and figured he would put his rooks on the same file. I kept dancing around until I found an opening. After the mate, my opponent typed, "What in the was that?" I commented back, "just skill, bro(JK)"                                                                                                                                                     So there you are. Hope you enjoyed the show (hehe). And to my good friend Joshua-- thanks for a great game that you really deserved to win.