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Gain Rating Points in Online Chess, Guaranteed

OBIT
Oct 24, 2015, 6:49 PM 8

OK, so like most chessplayers, you aspire to have a rating in Online Chess that doesn't reflect your genuine aptitude for the game.  Surely, you think, there must be some tricks that don't involve, you know, finding good moves.  Well, grasshopper, I think you are right about that, and I am going to describe one of those tricks right now, right here, in this article.  First, a little background to set the stage:

 

Back in the old days, when correspondence chess was played by sending postcards back and forth (the postage for postcards was only a few cents, so this was actually economically feasible) there was a scam that worked like this: it was possible to play two high-rated opponents against each other by simply sending the moves played by each as your moves.  For example, let's say you have White against GM Hrinczechowitsch and Black against GM Kashkadanislov.  When GM Kashkadanislov sends his opening move for White, you immediately send that move as your opening move for White to GM Hrinczechowitsch.  When GM Hrinczechowitsch sends his Black reply to this move, you immediately send the move to GM Kashkadanislov.  Then GM Kashkadanislov sends his second move for White to you, which you send to GM Hrinczechowitsch, who then sends his second move for Black to you, which you send to GM Kashkadanislov, etc.  Assuming no glitches, you are guaranteed to score 1-1 in these games, thereby assuring yourself a 50% result against these two grandmasters.  

 

Now, I did say "assuming no glitches," and there's the rub in this scam.  Postal service being what it is, there is a strong likelihood that a postcard gets misrouted, resulting in a mailing delay that garps up the whole scheme.  But, that's a problem with the postal service.  You don't have that problem when you submit moves on chess.com. The moves you submit in Online Chess are there instantaneously - no delays, no lost mail, nothing that would cause you to overstep the time limit.  In fact, in chess.com you get even more bang for your buck, because you can play two games simultaneously against high-rated opponents.  And that suggests the following plan:

 

(a) First, get a premium membership.  Then start two tournaments, planning to play the highest rated opponents who do not have premium memberships against each other.  (The reason why you want a premium membership, and you want opponents who don't have premium memberships will be covered shortly.)  

 

(b) When the opponent in tournament A sends his White/Black moves, you submit them as your White/Black moves in your games with your opponent in tournament B.  Similarly, when your opponent in tournament B sends his White/Black moves, you submit them as your White/Black moves to the opponent on tournament A.     

 

(c) And continue in this way.  You will score 2-2 in these games and gain rating points.  Of course, the greater the rating differential between you and your high-rated opponents, the more points you will gain.

 

Now, some of you may be thinking, "Wait a second, Mr. OBIT.  All my currently active games are listed in the Current Games on my member page.  If my high-rated opponents find the games, they will know what I am doing."  Yes, that's true, and so what?  Are you cheating?  Of course not.  You are just playing recommended moves, like any chess.com member who plays his opening moves by consulting a database.  A better question is: if the two opponents discover your plan, can't they devise some counterscam to thwart your nefarious strategy?  Like, can't they slow the game down, waiting until the last hour to make their moves, and if you aren't signed on, you lose on time?  Ah, but here's where the premium memberships come in.  You see, if you have a premium membership, you get up to three months of vacation time, and, what's more, your vacation time kicks in automatically when you are about to forfeit a game.  Your opponents with basic memberships only get one month of vacation time.  In short, there is no way your opponents can use the clock against you.  

 

A flawless plan, right?

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