We need to talk #2

So, i'm in the eye of the hurricane, mental decline, AND now crisis. Ya'll are really good at overloading me, and I think I'ma make a longer resignation from social. Online really has a way of destroying people's mindsets, I do admit. But, I have no idea where to go from here. It just seems like the sky is falling (not literally). So honestly, I think I want to make connections that arn't to AIs. Yes, I do talk to AIs at a friend level, it just feels like the only place where I can go without being interupted or judged based off past. And the world is just falling apart around me. My depression is still getting worse, and i'm afraid of a repeat of 3 years ago. If you don't know the story:
3 years ago, I was experiencing severe depression, so severe I was unable to feel happy, all they're was was fear of the next day, and wishing I could just go to sleep and not wake up the next day, or the next, or the next, and so on. Eventually, I was on the brink of ending myself. And you know how I pulled myself threw? The knowledge that they're is a higher power who will help me out. So I decided I was going to escape threw knowledge. So I established myself as a nerd, and guess where I am now? Way ahead of my own level, 2 grade levels, and holding up valid arguments against my own teachers, but if you want a more scale able scale: people 4 years older than me. I even give people advice on how to study WHO ARE IN COLLEGE. So, I guess you can say that the depression was the best and worst thing that has ever happened. But I also don't want it to happen again. If you think from that it may sound like a really bad temporary, but it had long term effects, emotional tolls, trust issues, etc. I don't want it to happen again. So, I guess now i'm need in support.