The Art of being crap at Chess

It's easy for you to see me or any other noob at chess and think "Oh wow they suck at chess", because you are right, we do in fact suck. But the real question is "How much do they suck" and "Can I ever suck as much as them"; this is where the discussion becomes much more advanced.

Although anyone can suck at chess, only a few can truly master the art of being crap at chess. It's easy for one to make many blunders, but it takes extreme training and dedication to make ONLY Blunders.

And that is where I come in, I have found a way to master the art of fumbling every single move to perfection, to the point where you can't even make a worse move than me even if you tried, which might make me the worst player in chess history, which is quite the title to hold.

Now if I was the worst player in the world, I should be worse at the game than everyone. Now although I currently have sucked in comparison to everyone on this site, there is one group of people that I have yet to be defeated by... CHILDREN!

If I can truly achieve the title of worst chess player, I need to consistently lose to countless kids, which is a greater challenge than you might think. So in an attempt to regain the title of worst chess player, I created an account on ChessKid.com and played games against several random children past their bedtimes

Now is it strange for me to pretend being a child to prove a point? Yes, absolutely, and it felt slightly illegal, but this had to be done, it was for science!

After some intense games against random children across the world, I have done it, I have lost 10 games in a row against children with only blunders. It was a challenge as some of these kids were blundering just as much as me in some games, but at the end, they came out victorious, meaning I have successfully achieved the title of "The Worst Chess Player Alive"

Now why should you care about my advancements in the art of failure? Well to put it simply, you shouldn't, but if you wanted a reason to then  I guess we can say that it can be an effective strategy at petty victory. If one sucks at chess so much, a mature opponent might get bored and believe that this match would be a waste of their time, which will make them forfeit and give you the victory.