"not bad player" syndrome

The sharpest of all blades is the "not bad player" tag which I seem to have claimed as my own. It's the only trophy I'll ever win :) Not a bad player , but not good enough to beat those who dub me it  and damn me with faint praise.

I think I've achieved stasis as regarding progress. The more study I do, the worse I become. I lose sight of the board because I'm trying too hard to improve. Since I started studying, my chess rating has actually gone down. Sometimes it's just very tempting to fire up the chess engine and let it play, but what's the point? I'm sure some do this , but not me. I'm too bad to do that.

At the moment i'm wading through some opening lines and I think the current has taken me away.