I DUMPED A BRILLIANT MOVE - Sabiotecastle92 vs SyltherinHouse

For once, I made a brilliant move according to StockFish. 

I always get very excited when the engine highlights great moves so this is such a success for me. It felt like sipping the finest champagne - you may do it once in a lifetime, but you never forget it afterwards. 

The whole point, however, is that my following moves were two mistakes and one blunder. This said, it should not surprise you that I eventually lost the game. I resigned, in fact. I had no other choice. 

Let me give you some context. I am playing whites against SyltherinHouse who has a Daily rating of 1287. I was the underdog once again, but events developed in a balanced way overall. I even dare to say that I had the advantage nearing the endgame as I was two pawns up. 

The biggest, most crucial moment of the game happens after 35 moves. The position is in the picture below. Black has played Kh7. Can you guess my next move?

If you have thought of 36. e6: congratulations, you are right!

An angel told me me not to be reckless and retreat the knight, but a devil encouraged me to go ahead and sacrifice it. I could see the gain, thus I took a deep breath and carried on as calculated.

This is the position after 37. e7 Rc8:

All I had to do was pushing the pawn to e8, convert it into a queen, trade either of them with black's only rook and keep playing. I was definitively winning.

But none of this happened.

I played 38. Qb7 and after Re8 I crumbled and lost every chance of promoting. The next few moves were just clumsy and, of course, led to my resignation - probably one of the hardest of my entire "chess career".

I could have beaten a much stronger rival. I had it all. And, in the end, I did not. Success phobia in its broadest meaning.