how to checkmate using only goat noises

For those who are bored of normal chess and want a real challenge, you may be interested in attemping to checkmate by only making goat noises.

While at first this may seem impossible, it is in fact, more than possible, and ima show you how to do it.

First, you are going to want to start up a game and make sure that you are playing black. Next, make a high pitched, quick, goat noise at your opponent. This will cause them to become confused, and play a dumb opening. Take this chance to play sicilian defense (move the pieces by screaming goat noises at them so the get knocked back to another square), so as to confuse and annoy your opponent even more, causing them to play more bad moves.

Now, if they somehow aren't confused by now, get a translator in the room & make two very long, low pitched goat noises. In goatish, this translates to "I am holding your family captive. Allow me to win or I will eliminate them."

On the other hand, if they are very confused, it should be an easy win for you, just remember to make high pitched goat noises and do annoying moves so that they get frustrated and either quit or leave an opening for you to checkmate.

And there you go, that is how to win a game of chess using only goat noises.