A beginners guide to chess.com

DISCLAIMER: This post is a joke, do not do anything I say to do on here, except for reading it.

Hello if you are new to chess.com or not, I recommend you read this because it could teach you something. 

PLAYING CHESS

When you start a game always move the pawns on the side this will scare your opponent and they will resign. Along with that if you don't move the pawns on the side sacrifice a pawn and then capture another pawn with your queen. Do it like this...

This totally won't end up with you losing your queen. Now to the endgame stuff, if you have a pawn on the last square and you have the option to choose a piece always go with the knight, it helps a lot more than the queen.

Puzzles

Firstly when you do a puzzle always move the pawn first it always is the correct answer. The pawn tactic is used by many chess grandmasters every day, and also if you see a red X when you make

your move, it means you've done it correct. Then you have comments on daily puzzles, make sure you always say Skibidi Toilet Sigma Male, because everyone will like your comment. It's the most popular type of comment. Puzzles are good but don't do 2 in a row because then you get a fire coloured orange and it means you're bad at them.

Chess Tv

When you're watching Chess Tv always say hi 100 times in the chat because this lets people know you're there and they'll want to be your friend. This will give you lots of money and help you in life.

Thank you for reading this blog post and I hope you learnt something today, don't forget to do everything I said.