WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Pls help me to fill the list.

Here, the first suggestions:

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability. 

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas. 

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD! 

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take. 

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake. 

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being. 

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road. 

Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence. 

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. 

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees. 

Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it. 

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain. 

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road? 

Ronald Reagan: I forget. 

The Sphinx: You tell me. 

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated. 

The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that. 

Othello: Jealousy. 

Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning. 

Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph. 

Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in town ought never expose one to such barbarous inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the chicken in question. 

Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen. 

Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of misplaced concreteness. 

Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter) 

Hamlet: That is not the question.