I am no longer full of whimsy and joy

I am no longer full of whimsy and joy

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My cat literally died in my room right under my desk where I play my Xbox and I had to watch him die in front of my eyes and now I'm traumatized and can't feel happy in my room anymore cause all I can remember is him jumping around writhing in pain and looking at me as he dies and bleeds out

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Not Actually in Estonia, I love the flag