Can you really QUIT Chess? [Or how my return to the art brought me to Chess.com]

Can you really QUIT Chess?
[Or : How my return to the art brought me to Chess.com]

- by Alex Hebert, Throughton'sHeir

Starting this blog by asking a question is meaningful. Being one to quit chess in my late teens, I decided to ponder the subject. Since you're reading this blog you'll deduce I have returned.  Admitting defeat in that life decision is quite a positive thing, I can tell you.  My "divorce" from chess was quite abrupt. Playing chess is not a mere hobby. It can be a task, a burden or a career. Some become legends, others rise to infamy (no need to cite names). Most of us just play because it's an urge we get to push ourselves beyond what the previous board brought up to life. Win or lose, we give our heart and soul to the checkered squares and lilttle pieces. The dire taste of a crumbling end-game is an emotional trigger that can make us lose our composure, in an inverse proportion to the time control of the encounter. If you are a competitive person, with a challenger mindset, it could be rough to face the fact of an unsurmountable defense. Or the impossibility to slash through the points difference in the Player's League. Some of you even could have lost a promotion to the next League because of a misplaced day off.

Being human, we are imperfect. We ain't no Komodo. Sometimes you could prefer to quit the division and settle in a forest with doomsday preppers (their openings might be closer to 80s meta than to the post-Magnus chess-prodigy ridden modern tournaments).  Not facing the stress of a tiresome endgame past the 50th move can be appealing. The feeling that engulfs you as you sit alone after defeat can create sadness, melancholy, You could in that moment give up. Until you decide to get back on track and rid you mind of those ideas. And I'd understand you. I am one of those overtly entusiast challengers who cannot stop from starting another bullet match as soon the previous arena board's wiped  clean of pieces.  

How in hell could then I have made the decision to quit Chess more than 20 years ago? I couldn't tell you the exact moment, but it is related to hobbies changing as you grow closer to adulthood.  Video games, music, cinematography, mangas, litterature. Chess was second thought once I got to play online action RPGs. With my Intel Celeron 300MHz, adventuring into Diablo 1's infernal church halls was the new way of multiplaying. It sure was "cooler" than chess. Being in high school and wanting to be hype at one point for one single lady might have been a lesser reason in my personnal case. Chess was fun and I joined the club at school, it was not for fear of looking like a nerd. Honestly can admit I had no love relationships because being a shy chubbier dude took me out of the thoughts of ladies and speedran me to the "Friend Zone" most of the time. Does this mean that toxic masculinity could be a detriment to such a "nerdy" hobby as Chess? (Note : Just quoting some popular strawmen opinions here).
Well I happen to have a recent anecdote about this exact situation. The other day on the phone, my cousin said that I should quit if it got me shouting out loud at 11PM - as he caught me in a fit of rage the precise moment a big Loss happened. After taking a deep breath, I retorted that it was the challenger spirit. Like in solo or team sports. I admitted that fact that I was really angry in the moment, but that it was to let the steam out. To evacuate the anger of the defeat.

Being realitstic about my skill level (under online 1000 ELO in most categories as of today) I understand defeat is part of my life until I study, which could take a couple years. Trying to be patient, I'll manage that pretty well, believe me! As for other men and women who might have "hot tempers", well, let's say not everyone can deal with such fits of rage indeed. Overall I might tend to say that depending on your temper - and how you react to a loss - there could be a direct impact on your relationship to chess.

...and studying is MY resolution for 2023!!!

The 2022-2023 season is the moment forever to be set as my return to Chess. My year on Chess.com started in November. Becoming diamond member was a natural decision for the quality of tools offered on the website. Not having the possibility to play OTB currently meant that this was my hail mary to returning to an amateur chess hobbyist career. Three thousand and five hundred games later I am quite satisfied to share what the plans are for the months ahead. By now you probably have realized that I'm in too deep for a dude who has slept 20 years on the sport. Do not be worried : I've always enjoyed being spontaneous and excessive with my hobbies. Tell me how it is for you, do you think we can really QUIT chess? Is it even remotely feasible baring being buried six feet under/cremated? For me on Chess.com it's been a speedrun ever since I joined, and I literally got the Blogger achievement "GOOD READ" yesterday, January 6 (thanks to all readers, maybe it's just competitors of the blog champs looking me up to see how puny this humble blogger is).

Normally playing Arena tournaments for short control times is my thing. Focusing mostly on Bullet 1|0, sometimes Blitz 3|0, even Live 960 instead of traditional chess! And when I'm not on a rush I admit to having fun in non-competitive matches under the CrazyHouse or King of the Hill rules. This week though under the pressure of great opponents, I've decided to return to Rapid 10|0. The points are racking up efficiently and they could not come quick enough because the day-and-a-half off put me in a underdog position. Getting better in longer time controls, I even got my best tournament in Rapid yet:

But let's get back to the division of 50 players whom I was confined to at the beginning of the week. Started slowly monday night, then got some play tuesday. But it was wednesday where the time lost got me the feeling that it was already too late. The opposition were dedicated chess players as well, so the chase is unending. Every day since then I go to sleep in 1st place then return the next morning staring at a #2 or 3.

This won't crush my soul, being 2nd in the League of LEGENDS won't deter my tenacity. I'll study with dilligence. The competitor in me woke up and the urge to play has been reignited. One loss in the League won't curb my enthusiam. Do not worry friends, I won't ever quit the sweet and wonderful science of Chess AGAIN !!!

Centuries ago people were playing, and humanity might only pass the torch to our cyborg overlords once the next "StockModo hybrid AI" takes over humanity with its Big Noodle / Skynet! Maybe only then  will humanity QUIT chess? What do you think?

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Sources, references & bibliography

Painting : seen in a youtube video [Laurent Turcot, L'HISTOIRE NOUS LE DIRA]
using the classical painting of Liberale da Verona
https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Les_Joueurs_d'%C3%A9checs_(Verona)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TznQ_NDg-SE

"Big Noodle" : http://www.technovelgy.com/ct/content.asp?Bnum=2094"
"From The Divine Invasion, by Philip K. Dick.
Published by Timescape in 1981"

Fair use : The "Subscribe" button image file is a screenshot of the literal button on GM Hikaru's youtube page, the same as on every other page on YT.

Cartoon drawing : ©CABU, Le Grand Duduche, picture edited to clean around the characters playing chess (extracted from a full page)

20th Century Fox owns the rights to THE SIMPSONS, and the screenshot of Homer playing chess in that modern episode. 

The Nintendo Chess pieces are copyright to Nintendo, for character design and image trademark.

All books pictured are the property of the respective rights holders.