I felt just amazing this year. It has been a blessed year.
A lot has gone absolutely right.
I am blessed that I have a job.
A year to two years a go I was undergoing massive amounts of stress. I was being yelled at and berated by my family. I was berated by my friends. I was kicked metaphorically in the chest.
I was kicked when I was down multiple times.
What did this year yield. It yielded maturity in a job complex. It has yielded grit. I am a gritty guy and a scrapper. It has yielded even more courage. It has yielded that you can believe in yourself but you know that someone like God has your back. It has yielded incredible new friends. A solid support system but above all just people that have problems too.
Hey! You readers. I know I am not successful as I type this. I work hard but have not achieved one iota of goals. I am not a published professional journalist. I am not a professional magazine writer. I am not in a career at the age of 28. But I work hard everyday to fight for what I want. It has been a hell of a fucking road. I fought through my college. In high school I had a 3.87 my senior year. In community college. I had a 3.56 . Everything derailed trying to earn the wrong degree and really having an maturity awakening in terms of what I wanted to do. A change in direction. And yet just by struggling and battling I ended with a 3.0.
Just it is insane how far I have come. The world can eat a dick! I mean not literally but I have had to just get out of the proverbial mud. I've had to claw. Nothing, really to me in a lot of ways has been easy. I struggle with counting change and I struggle with fucking numbers. But I still write. You still see me fight. And I am not going to stop till I am successful. I have a complex where I struggle with failure. It is this irksome . I have grown up in a family that wants results quick. They will never be satiated with what I can do. I know me and I know my potential. Fuck the rest! I have overcome so much shit. I have! And I will continue to have even thicker skin for it.
When challenges come you can fail at life. You can fail at a lot of things. You just have to be in the game. You just have to fight. It is your spirit that will come through. If you work hard you will be rewarded eventually. I will break through and one day be a published writer professionally. I have always been goal oriented but you have to go through mud to get there. Just keep your head up and be positive. I was negative when I graduated from UW. I thought of this glorious job. But you wade through the muck in the real world and you earn your place. That is what I am doing. I am getting better at it too. And I still understand that struggling and hurting and being kicked in the face metaphorically has shaped me. My character is extremely strong. How could it fucking not? Losing battles are not always losing battles, you play a part. You have to show up and just fight. Keep on fighting until you prove your parents wrong, your siblings wrong. The world wrong. Root for the underdog because if pushed hard enough they will blow you away with triumphancy!
Failure is what it means to be human. Perfection is a dream!
Keep dreaming friends! You will one day achieve them. One day you will no longer be afraid to fail. You'll fail and brush it off and be like yeah I failed with pride. I failed to learn what not to do. I failed because I tried. I was in the game and I won!
Getting out of the mud
Oct 10, 2015, 10:08 PM 3