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Not So Scary Scary Story

Tristan57
Nov 22, 2016, 1:18 PM 0

              I wrote this a few years ago for my friend Akshaini, and I want to write her a sequel. If you guys could give me lots of constructive criticism, that would be great.

 

 

Caroline shuddered in her hoodie from the cold breeze. "Are you sure we should do this?" she whispered to Jennifer, her teeth chattering.
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life," she replied with confidence. "You should trust me by now. We've known each other all our lives. I'm your cousin, after all."
"I guess you're right," Caroline mumbled, but she was still doubtful. They trudged on , leaving lonely footprints in the perfect snow. Caroline snuck a glance at Jennifer's long, flowing, blond hair, sparkling with tiny snowflakes flecked throughout like jewels. She had always been envious of that hair, so smooth and straight, never seeming to be tangled. Her own frizzy hair had to be kept short to keep it from knotting, and it never shined. Ever since the girls turned twelve, they had begun to care about their appearance. Caroline had started to wear a little light make up, and she was realizing that it was an awful idea for a cold day. It was freezing to her face, and she was having trouble moving it. Jennifer abruptly stopped dead in her tracks, and Caroline walked right into her, knocking her to the ground. "Why did you stop?" Caroline blurted.
"I saw someone."
"Was it David?"
"I don't think so."
"Maybe he figured out that we were going to toilet paper his house and he's coming to confront us."
Jennifer leaped up and started sprinting back to her house. "Wait up!" Caroline cried, trying to run in the deep snow. She somehow managed to catch up to Jennifer just as she bolted trough the front door. She took off her coat and boots, then beckoned for Caroline to come upstairs. The girls walked into Jennifer's room, and she quickly closed and locked the door.
"That wasn't David," Jennifer said, her voice shaking. "It had no face, just a huge, mouth that looked like a black hole. I felt like if I got any closer, it would have sucked me up."
"Stop trying to scare me,"
"I'm telling the truth!"
"You just didn't want to TP David's house!"
"I-" Jennifer was cut off by the doorbell.
"I'll get it," Caroline snapped, and stormed down the stairs. She angrily whipped open the door. No one was there. Confused, she started to walk up the stairs. A piecing scream sliced through the air. Caroline charged up to Jennifer's room. She slowly opened the door. On the floor was a dead body, too covered in blood to recognizable. Caroline threw up until she didn't have anything left to throw up. She looked at the body, and saw a lock of blond hair slowly emerge from the mess. She screamed so loud the whole neighborhood heard. The young man next door came up the stairs and open the bedroom door. Caroline turned to face him.
"What happened?" he asked with concern. Caroline pointed over her shoulder. "I don't see anything," he said. Caroline turned around to see nothing on the ground, not even a drop of blood.
"There-there was a dead body on the floor," Caroline stammered.
"You must have been hallucinating. Do you have any history of that?"
"No."
"That's strange. Are you okay with me leaving? I was on the phone with my boss, and unless he hung up, he's still on the line," Caroline nodded. She watched from the top of the stairs as he walked out the door. A strange feeling had come over her, and she couldn't quite put her finger on it. She walked back to Jennifer's room and flopped down on her bed.
"Hellooo," a voice said from behind her as a hand covered her mouth. She couldn't move, and she felt herself fading away. The last thing she saw before everything went black was Jennifer's body and hair with a hole for a face.
No one heard from Caroline or Jennifer after that night. Many people tried to guess what happened, but no one really knew. But some people claim to have heard Jennifer's voice at night, screeching, "You're the one I want," over and over.

 

 

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