Quotable Advice

Sep 21, 2008, 6:29 AM |

The only way to be absolutely safe is never to try anything for the first time.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

In baiting a mousetrap with cheese, always leave room for the mouse.

If you want to become a coroner, be prepared for a stiff examination.

Marry an archaeologist because the older you get the more they are interested in you.

Don't put the cat out unless it is on fire.

The secret of eternal youth is to lie about your age.

My doctor once told me I looked a million dollars - green and wrinkled.