NEW SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY!!!

The following quotation has been taken directly from "Underwater Express: Weekend
Edition,May 31st":

TATER DISCOVERY: NEW SCIENCE REVEALS ASTONISHING TRUTH!

Writer: FishTheVish772
In the latest discoveries by the Underwater Scientific Bureau of the 42069th division of the Sigma sector, it has revealed a life changing revelation to all our fish out there: That life, somehow, is a potato.

Many readers out there may feel outraged, betrayed, saddened or outright agony from hearing this. So today, we've brought in all our potato experts to assuage your feelings. 

Tatergill: Through much scientific study, we can definitely conclude that the notion that we fish have conceived as life can be viewed as a potato. Upon using a FTX3070 spectrum and precursor apparatus, it is clear that many abstract constructs can be viewed as parts of a potato: for example, a french fry could be considered a long, dreary segment of life, while a jacket potato is a psychological interpretation of stonewalling

Tailspud: As a graduate from the University of Atlantis, I must say that these discoveries are not only surprising, but life changing. I would recommend going to therapy if you start having hallucinations about interdimensional potato warriors.

Tuberfin: I was among the colleagues working on the so-called, "Spud Project". I can absolutely confirm that there is evidence that life is most similar to the potatoes we eat on a daily basis. Although I was sworn to secrecy, something like this shouldn;t be hidden from public

Gillroot: yes potato is life *starts eating an entire box of french fries

Admittedly, at least one of these experts prefers eating potatoes to studying them

Now, what do such discoveries mean to the common citizen as you? Well, you can start by looking back on your life so far: what type of potato would you consider it? On a more personal note, I would consider mine as au gratin with a side of tofu, but not everyone can have such high standards, of course. Perhaps a Blue Cheese Potato Goblin Omelette? Maybe a overcooked mashed potato? It's up to you!

But of course, we must always be looking towards the future. The question should be less "what has my life been so far", and more "What can i make it become?". Maybe you want you life to look spiral, perhaps baked, maybe fried. You have to choose something and strive towards to it!

For people still trying to cope with this version of reality, I would recommend contacting @VishTheFish771 immediately and receiving high quality potato therapy from him, at discounted rates of only 1 necron's handl- I mean 300 million coins a day!

If you can find all three Hypixel Skyblock references, you get your first potato therapy free!

also if any Chinese Grand Army comes and says, "Skibidi" in the chat I will eat a potato.