The bots prank each other

 What would happen if the chess.com bots suddenly started pranking each other? Would chaos erupt, or would they somehow improve?

 From Martin playing like a 3000 to the maximum level bot playing the worst moves, chaos erupts.

Martin dramatically improves;

 Martin: здравейте! I finally beat my kids!

 Me: Um... nice! Do you want to play a game?

 Martin: Of course!

 Me: plays e4

Martin: That's a really useful move. Plays the sicilian

Me: Nc3

Martin: Nc6 Did you know I'm allergic to wood?

Me: Um... cool!

Me: g3

Martin: d6

Me: Bg2

Martin: Qa5

Me: Nge2

Martin: Feels good to be higher rated, no?

Me: -_-

Martin: Qxc3

Martin: It's tradition. April fools! Mittens was telling me what to do. I resign. But, I have been learning the London system.

Me: Uh... ok. Thanks I guess?

Me: Leaves

Mittens hides the eval bar

Me: Hey Mittens, do you know where the eval bar went?

Mittens: You must feel the position.

Me: Uh... I need to review my game.

Mittens: Don't rely on the eval bar. Feel the position.

Me: I NEED TO REVIEW MY GAME

Mittens: Feel the position.

Me: Yeah, no. Bye.

Mittens and the bongcloud strike

Me: Mittens... why is the engine saying Ke2 is the best move?!?!?!

Mittens: Do not rely on engines. Rely on humans. Go on YouTube and search-

Me: So it was you!

Mittens: It will reset on April 2nd.

Me: Good.

The Queen goes on a strike

Queen: Do not rely on me. I will not play until you bring in the knight. He is a good helper.

Me: You are the most powerful piece. I'm sure you can handle it.

Queen: No, give me the knight as a helper or I won't play.

Me: Fine. sneaks out before I find the knight.

The snake replaces the bishops:

Snake: Hahahaha, the snake invasion is almost complete!

Me: You aren't even a bot.

Snake: I have replaced all bishops with snakes! They still move the same, but hiss when they get blocked by pawns.

Bishop-snake: Hiss, you blocked me.

Me: Please tell me this will go away.

Snake: Maybe, maybe not.

Me: I'm just going to go...

Wendy sacrifices everything

Wendy: Hello, Bonjour, whatever. Let's play.

Me: Okay.

Wendy: Sacrifice the pawn! Sacrifice the knight! Sacrifice the bishop! 

Me: Are you just going to sacrifice everything?

Wendy: Yes.

Me: Wins in 20 moves because she runs out of pieces

Wendy: Fine. Go. Good game.

Me: Bye.

Summary:

Martin pretends to be higher elo.

Mittens says to not rely on the engine.

The Queen doesn't want to do everything by herself.

The snake wants to be included in chess.

Wendy is sacrificing everything.