Tough training game

So this has to be one of the toughest games I have ever played.  I know that because it has been so difficult to get myself to go over it and post it.  There are some other contributing factors to the difficulty for me but I will talk about that more later.  I have thought about what I wanted to write about this game, forgotten all of it, and now sat down to write out what my experience of this game was. So... here goes.

So what did I learn:

• formulating a comprehensive plan is essential to playing a good game of chess.
• a good position out of the opening does not mean a won game
• continuing to be patient with myself as I learn is also essential
• playing better chess means finding myself in more challenging positions

There will be some specific lessons learned as well.  I'm seeing I need to practice with rook play.  I think better utilization of my rook play will definitely improve my game.  Both in the middlegame and endgame.

So the story of the game.  Earlier that day I had beaten a 2000+ for the first time playing blitz on chess.com.  I had also achieved my highest rating ever on the site and have been feeling a lot more command of my game.  I have been exercising a lot more patience in my game and have found myself playing lots more good moves.  Overall I have just been feeling much stronger as a chess player.  This really does feel great.  So going into this game I was expecting to play great and yes, win.  You may see where I'm going with this.

As I stated earlier the challenges I'm facing over the board are ever changing.  Like when I first began playing and loved gambits and king hunts, to a phase where opening theory would solve all of my chess problems and victory would spring eternal.  Today I find myself trying to improve on a few things. Time being one, at the urging(suggesting) of a teacher. Good moves. This is also something I find myself saying to myself while playing.  Is this a good move and what can my opponent do about it?  If it's hard for an opponent to find a good response to a move I make it's probably a good move. Also staying calm while playing is important to me now.  Playing within my own abilities leads to a more calm and fertile for learning and improvement experience.  How's that for some good ramblings after a loss!

So as stated I felt I had achieved a very good position out of the opening.  I had two bishops, he had a "bad" bishop, I completed development quickly, it looked like I would end up with some good targets.  After that I found myself struggling to come up with a concrete plan.  I couldn't figure out where I wanted my rooks.  The moves I then made that I justified as gaining time left my pieces in vulnerable positions and were in turn exploited. After blundering a pawn I found myself staring at a board where my wonderful position had gone away.  I made the decision to lash out to try and drum up some initiative and ended up dropping another pawn.  My opponent played solid throughout and left me with nothing but an end position with he being up two pawns and a rook and bishops of same colors.  At this point I conceded.

Sorry for the blunder I made and I recognize there was better chess to be played.