A painful defeat that made me quit chess for years.
#MeetYourCoach Post
Chess is a challenging game. In my journey, there were moments I wanted to give up and renounce my dreams.
My first proof was in my first year playing the game. I was playing the last round of the regional youth championship. I got a free pawn in the opening. Then I blundered two pawns,
I got into a drawish position: King + rook vs King + Rook + h file pawn.
My King was perfectly placed on h1. The position was a theoretical drawn.
But I was so discouraged because I had the game in my hands that I forgot about the theory and thought I had a lost position. So I resigned.
Everyone in the room was shocked. My opponent told me: hey, I was waiting for you to offer me a draw.
I realized it was a draw, but it was too late.
I felt stupid and cried for hours when I got home.
Haha, I was 14 years old, and I did not know how to handle my emotions.
I wanted to rage quit chess. But the next day, my coach encouraged me to keep playing. My opponent had 300 more Elo points than me, and I almost had the games in my hands.
That reframe helped me to continue and keep improving my level.
That was a happy ending because I got stronger and took my end-game studies seriously. I used that painful defeat to get better.
𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲.
From 2013-14, when I was living in NYC, I tried to push my level and get a title.
I was winning the sub-2000 categories. Then I tried open tournaments. I had great victories against 2200 elo players. I even beat and IM. But that was the rare case. I usually got crushed.
One tournament, in particular, got me sad. My ex-girlfriend was watching my games in the Marshall chess club. I lost my game against an IM. I was furious because I hung a pawn in the opening. Foolish mistake.
When we got out of the club, I was dead silent.
She asked me: are you ok?
I cried because I was tired. I left my country and was doing my best, working hard and training by myself.
Everyday. I was putting in the effort, the hours and the sacrifice but titled players were out of my league.
I wasn't mentally prepared to face them. I bought a bunch of chess courses from GMs and well-known Fide trainers.
Instead of embracing defeat like last time, I just gave up.
That was my little dark age. I abandoned my chess dreams.
It took me many years to dream again.
𝗪𝐡𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞?
Over the years, I understood what makes the difference.
It's not motivation, willpower or a brave heart. I had all those things and I still ran away.
In my travel, I did not have the support of any coach. I didn't have the help of someone who could show me my technical mistakes and help to reframe bad results. I had a bunch of cool courses, but the problem was that I couldn't receive any feedback.
I needed emotional support and someone who helped to strengthen my mind.
That is what ultimately makes a difference.
That's why I take support very seriously in all my programs because I know that lessons are just part of the process.
But a chess coach is more than someone who teaches you cool stuff. He is someone who encourages you to keep trying and fighting when you are broken.
Maybe you are reading this and are not interested in taking your chess to a pro level, but you love the game and wonder how far you can get.
Let me warn you this: If you gonna try this by yourself, be prepared for setbacks. Even the stronger players fall.
So you better take care of your mental strength. If you have any thoughts of quitting, maybe it is time to consider getting a coach. I guarantee that's the best way to keep things in the right perspective and keep you on track.
I hope this helps.
See you on the winning side.
-Coach Diego.
