Year 50 - One Last Push
This year - 2026 - marks my 50th anniversary as a chess player. I learned how to play in 1976 at the tender age of seven. I didn't understand the rules quite as well as I thought - I remember proudly claiming a draw because of insufficient mating material, only to learn that both players had to run out, not just me.
I'm sure I was a very good chess player for my age, especially after I got my first instruction book, but the area I lived in didn't have a chess scene. We had the Oakland County Child Killer and the Jimmy Hoffa kidnapping, but not chess tournaments for 8-year-olds.
I've collected chess books for most of those 50 years, but I never played much. There were chess clubs in high school and college, but I didn't really start playing until the internet became a thing.
I started on ICS before it became ICC and I played a lot on both versions of the site. My favorite game was 45-45 - I've never enjoyed blitz or bullet. I got my rating up to about 1750 and slammed hard into a concrete ceiling. No matter what I tried, I couldn't make any progress.
If I got an open game, I could pull off wild combinations. I've beaten IMs (in simuls, obviously) and I once had a GM ready to resign (also in a simul), but talked myself out of the last move because he was a GM and I couldn't possibly be seeing the position correctly.
But if you got me into a tactical battle, I'd fall apart. No matter what I tried, I couldn't get any better. So I would quit in frustration, but I still had all these books. Eventually I'd pick one up and decide I now understood the secret. But I never did.
The last time I quit was on this site in 2019. I wanted to get to 1800 (well, 2000, but 1800 first) by the time I turned 50. I couldn't get above 1500 and I was slowly getting worse. Then I was involved in a tightly fought Daily tournament and my opponent blatantly cheated. I reported him, along with all the evidence, and nothing was done. I'll tell the whole story some other time, but I ended up closing my account and moving on with my life.
Until I realized 2026 was going to be my 50th year. I started watching GothamChess on YouTube again, and then I decided to play a few games online, and now I'm here all the time. My wife has even taken up chess this time.
There's one difference - I now know why I'm so bad at tactical positions. It turns out that, along with my severe ADHD, I have pattern dyslexia. My brain doesn't recognize how things fit together - Tetris is my worst nightmare. There's nothing I can do to fix it, but I can adjust by only playing Daily or slow time-control chess and taking the time to figure out what most players can see with a trained glance.
Will it work this time? We'll see, but I still think I have a chance at 1800. Can I get to 2000 at age 57? We'll see.
(My rating is currently 1001 - I screwed up when opening a new account and set my starting level to 800 instead of 1200.)
I'm going to write about it here.
