Chess Jokes

The book Chess Jokes, by Danny Trevanion, is a very enjoyable read. The book is intensely funny, the puns are clever. Some jokes are best enjoyed by people who already play chess, but those who don't will also benefit from the book and perhaps increase their own desire to learn the game. Trevanion is an intelligent author with other interesting works. This is a critical review that respects copyright law. Consider purchasing the book on Kindle (I'm not earning commission) to access all the chess jokes, which are over 300 in total. More than recommended!

My favorite:

• How do chickens play chess?

With a chess cluck.

• To become a great player you first have to learn the basic chessentials.
• Who are the fastest chess players?

The Rush-sians.

• What do you call a grandmaster behind his back?

Wesley So and So.

• Knock knock

Who’s there?

Yifan.

Yifan who?

No. Hou Yifan!

• What do we have to worry about most with the development of chess A.I?

It becomes Magnus Carlsentient.

• What furniture do all stalemates take place on?

A chess of drawers.

• What strategy does a grandmaster execute if his breath is smelly?

Use his chess tic tacs.

• What is the most important tactic to use when playing the Ancient Greeks?

Controlling the Centaur.

• Peter: I’m not playing chess with you if you keep using astrology to make your moves.

Paul: I was defending my Pisces.

• Why is chess not the most complicated board game?

Because there is only one place to Go.

• What is a chess player’s favorite music?

Rook and roll.

• How does a grandmaster relax?

With Chessentials oils.

• How do you avoid chess with your uncle?

Playing en pass aunt.

• What’s a grandmasters favorite holiday?

Chessmas.

• What site does Pinnocchio use to play?

Lie chess.

• Chess is imitating life. When paying the other day I didn’t remember my PIN and so heard “check, mate”.
• What award is presented to the best players who can cook at the same time?

Grandmasterchef.

• What do lazy players use to decide who wins?

The unwritten rules of chess.

• Why is a player perpetually worried?

Because of Murphy's laws of chess.

• How is does a player become most wanted?

Be on the wrong side of the laws of chess.

• How do Catholic grandmasters address their priests?

“Chess me father, for I have sinned”.

• Are you sure you can play on a checkers board?

Well chess and no.

• In my last game I was totally crushing my opponent. I lost badly, but I really fancied him.