Don't Be A Fool, Mate

                                                            Introduction 

 Happy April Fools, dear readers! April Fools is a day of tricks and fun, and I hope that you can translate some of that fun and trickery into wins over the chessboard today. I would, however, like to add a disclaimer. The majority of the internet's favorite tricks, such as the Scholar's Mate or the Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Gambit (yes, that is a real thing) simply lead to inferior positions against a well-prepared opponent.

.                                         A very nice trap if it works! But if it doesn't...

 For those who are not familiar with the ICBM (which it is abbreviated to) I have attached the opening moves below.

 If you manage to reach this point, then congratulations! You are up a queen and should go on to win. However, it must be stated that you also have not learned anything from the game. You simply replayed a trap that you already knew. Of course, the far worse possibility for you is that you play someone who knows what they are doing and simply forces a better position (the unfortunate truth is that Black is much better here with accurate play...)

 It is simply common sense! No one should be playing an opening with a name as ludicrous as "Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Gambit". In fact, some would go so far as to contend that you should not be trying to trap your opponents in the opening at all. Rather, you should focus on bringing out all of your pieces and placing them onto the best possible squares. If your opponents play inaccurately (which most do at lower levels), you can win games using simple development as opposed to traps. A low rated player will often figure out a way to trap themselves (self destruct). This makes a ton of sense: with more freedom (as in not having to defend against a very specific trap or threat) your opponent will have more options to choose from. Beginners are frequently overwhelmed by this, leading to mistakes.

                    The Oldest Trick In The Book

 I am sure you all have heard of Fool's Mate. If you have not, then perhaps the phrase "two move checkmate" rings a bell. If you still do not know what I am talking about, I assume you are very new to the game of chess, and will hopefully be amazed by the fact that if White plays in a certain manner, Black can deliver mate on only the second move.

 Now I know what you are likely thinking. Surely, no one would ever fall into this trap unknowingly, right? After all, White has to play a very specific sequence of bad moves, and the odds of a beginner randomly picking them is extremely low. It obviously would never happen in a real game...

                                                                          Poor guy...

 Ouch! In fairness to Schlatt, Alexandra Botez is a Women's FIDE Master rated over 2200 online. Schlatt, on the other hand, is clearly brand new to the game, as he has dedicated more time to streaming and playing video games (Minecraft). It was of course never a fair match up to begin with, but it is still humorous that he quite literally lost in the fastest possible manner.

                      History of the Fool's Mate

 Schlatt is not the only person to have fallen into this trap (although he is definitely one of its more recent victims). Fool's Mate actually dates back to at least 1656! Our first recorded evidence of Fool's Mate is found a book with a strange title: Gioachino Greco's The Royall Game of Cheese-Play!

A note for chess historians and critics of my blog. It is believed that Greco died in 1634, two decades before this book was published. The text (which the 1656 date refers to) is an adaptation of Greco's earlier work by English author Francis Beale. Its description of "Foole's Mate" (as Beale calls it) reveals a fascinating fact about chess in the 1600's. Back then, it was not agreed which color would move first, and so whether White or Black would start was left up to the players! How strange is that...

                            Beale/Greco's Description 

                                                                    The Fooles Mate.

Black Kings Biſhops pawne one houſe.
White Kings pawne one houſe.
Black kings knights pawne two houſes
White Queen gives Mate at the contrary kings Rookes fourth houſe.
— Beale, The Royall Game of Chesse-Play

 Of course, this requires translation: a houſe roughly corresponds to a square. If we were to transfer the game into a diagram, it would look like this:

                                                           Sample Games

 Of course, the only people who would walk into the most basic form of Fool's Mate in this day and age are likely as new to the game as our friend Schlatt. However, I personally favor a certain opening variation (the Hopton Attack against the Dutch) that can lead to a foolish defeat if an opponent takes the bait. I have successfully sprung this trap thrice (of course, all three were against players ranging from 300-1200 online. Two were against high school friends, played during either a shared free period or lunch)

 In this 1896 game, Frank Melville Tead (playing White) was able to reach the same position after 5. e3. However, unlike in my games, his opponent (Eugene Delmar) realized the danger he was in and attempted to avoid mate while maintaining the trap on the bishop. If successful, this would net Delmar an advantage of a full piece. However, Teed was able to prove the weakening of Delmar's kingside fatal, and handed him a swift defeat.

 Our final game is another Greco gem. His opponent, the (in?)famous "NN" (who just seemed to lose to everyone back in the day) lashes out with an early f5-push after opening with a quiet Owen's Defense (e4 b6). Greco immediately and thoroughly punishes him.

                                     Conclusion

  I hope that you enjoyed your read! Remember to always exercise caution when pushing your f-pawn in the opening, regardless of how well-versed you are in the Dutch (or Bird). Hopefully, on this foolish day, you will face a foolish opponent who ventures too far early with the f-pawn and consequently finds themself in trouble once you use the wisdom that I have beseeched upon you. Or if that does not happen, I hope you at least have fun on the chessboard today.

 As our good friend Krusty the Clown (from The Simpsons) would say, "see you tomorrow, kids!"

 Author's note: I will not be releasing a blog tomorrow, unfortunately. I suppose you can consider that my April Fools' joke, if you insist. However, it is possible that we may meet tomorrow over the interweb/blogosphere/64 squares.