The Foodstamp-Fischer Variation of the Bongcloud

Dec 31, 2012, 4:53 AM |

I want to bring to the world the latest innovations in Bongcloud theory, from the Bongcloud variation with no name, which I am dubbing the Foodstamp-Fischer variation of the Bongcloud, given that it has been played to great effect by both Bobby Fischer, and myself.

By way of reference, for some history on the theory on this opening, GM Lenny Bongcloud postulated a unique and not altogether bad goal - to get your king activated early - to the other side of the board as quickly as possible, as he masterfully demonstrates in this classic Bongcloud game:

Now the only problem with this game is that if Bongcloud faced a stronger opponent, he may have been dispatched before reaching his goal. 

The Foodstamp-Fischer Variation of the Bongcloud therefore is designed to remedy some of the Bongcloud's inherent defects, including: 1. requires too much work and 2. overambitious. and 3. May likely defeat the inherent purpose of the opening itself.

What's 3 you ask? Well the inherent strength of the bongcloud lies in what it explicitly says to your opponent - namely, you suck. You suck so bad that I'm going to move my king around, and get a losing position, and then I'll beat you. However, the only way you can get this statement made is by winning. If you get mated on his 4th rank, you just end up looking like a putz.

So the Foodstamp-Fischer variation seeks to eliminate these defects, while dealing a similarly strong psychological blow to your opponent's ego, while providing you a more resilient position.

In this variation of the Bongcloud, instead of trying to get your king to make a touchdown, the goal is to get your king and queen to trade places! Brilliant, no? 


You'll note it is a complete system of development, like the King's Indian Attack, where you don't even have to pay attention to your opponent, just whip out your moves and save precious seconds on the clock. If you get interrupted with a check? Well then you need to go run home, as Fischer's games in this opening demonstrate.

Truth is a few years back Bobby Fischer was rumored to have logged on as a guest onto ICC and played some blitz games. What opening do you think he used? Yep that's it, the (as of yet unnnamed) Foodstamp-Fischer Variation of the Bongcloud. Here is one of his blitz games where he used it to great effect against a 2827 rated player:

And it works just as well as black too! Fischer demonstrates a crushing & demoralizing victory vs his same hapless 2800 patzer opponent:

I think after this game he quit chess and took up checkers.

In conclusion, I urge you to give it a chance in your own bullet games and giggle as you give the middle finger to established opening theory and crush your opponents. Nothing more fun than to try to get them pissed off and implode themselves against your Foodstamp bongcloud strategy. Note this is a work in progress and theory of this opening is ever evolving, so please share your thoughts & games if you get a chance.