i'm trying.....

ok....so Junior prom was the best. i had a great time with Cody. It was wierd because i thought that i would have a bad time since my ex (the one i still have feelings for) was going to be there. he was kindof in our group but he didn't come on the day date with us. he was only in our group pics. it was wierd because  I was glad that i didn't go with him.... he didn't even dress up nice. it would've been kindof embarrassing. but at the same time i kindof felt bad for him since his date kept running off and he had nobody to really hang out with. while i was dancing with cody during one of the slow dances i saw him sitting all alone on a bench....he looked so sad. me and cody were kindof dancing in front of where he was sitting and he got up and left. i felt so bad for him.....but i didn't let it bother me. later my date was kindof pooping out and he went outside to get some fresh air. i was just walking around during a slow song.....then he came over and put his arm around me and smiled and said "I owe you a dance. " (before prom he kept mentioning to me that he "called" a dance with me) so i danced with him. (he's a really good dancer)

anyways Prom was amazing and i had the night of my life! i got so many roses and baloons from cody. it made me feel so special. :) but now i'm just trying to be happy. i'm just trying to focus on the bright side of not being with him....which is that there is not alot of drama and i can flirt with any guy i want. :) but deep down inside there's this longing to be loved. or to try to have that same love again.