at least ive been on a date
i played in my first OTB tournament last weekend. i was unfairly paired up against far superior opponents. they were savage, brutal, heartless warriors, with a taste for blood and a nose that smells fear one week in advance. i do not know why the tournament director chose to punish me this way, except that it may be a twisted initiiation or some tradition they all laugh about when alone.
the sad truth in all this all of my opponents were 10 or 11 years old. acting like i was putting them out by forcing them to take advantage of my mistakes. they were looking at me like a girl would look at me in junior high when i dared to speak to her.
these players travelled with their own entourage, named mommy and daddy, watching over their shoulders, laughing at my discomfort, smiling silently with a sparkle in the eye that said "isnt he wonderful, look at how he crushes you."
well thats fine. you may beat me at chess you well dressed, nicely spoken little gentleman, you will probably always be better than me, but i have been on a date. , i have always known 80s music sucked, i have known the joys of life, (once before i got married) and i will have my sixth grader beat you up after school.