what to do when you dont know what to do

Feb 8, 2010, 1:07 AM |

what to do:

  1. panic.  but like the karate man, only panic on the inside.  
  2. do the meanest damn thing you can think of. 
  3. take a walk.
  4. cry.  (see number one)
  5. pretend your opponent stole your bike when you were a kid.
  6. think of puppies.  they know how to have fun.
  7. wish a little.
  8. stare at the person across the table with one eye closed.
  9. drink more coffee.
  10. dont you dare touch your pawns.
  11. give up yoga.
  12. pretend hes trying to kill you.
  13. admit the government did it.
  14. exhale slowly with with a low whistle.
  15. get back to the game.

none of this ever helped me so good luck with it.

i think we should also ban children from playing this game.  it is very hard to want to destroy a 10 year olds dream, i feel guilty giving them my pieces.  when they grin at me i want take it full contact.  game on .  you wanna grin at me punk, well then its on....  go get your mommy and ill fight ya both.  oooooooh.... your so tough beating a fourty year old man at chess.  good luck junior.  i hope you get zits.  

im sorry.  i i i dont really have a point. 

and she wasnt ten, she was nine.  and cute as a button when she saw my mistake.  she was giggly and bouncing up and down waiting for me to give her my king.  worth the loss just to see her walking down the hall holding her daddys hand, skipping, happy and ........easy to tackle when her dad wasnt looking.

bam....off the top rope.