How to win every game of chess.

Apr 25, 2015, 1:54 AM |

Hello. This guide is for winners.

1. Only play as white. Abort every game as black, create seperate accounts if need be. 

2. Open every game with d4. I have it on good authority from a time traveller that this is the first move in solved chess (white wins).

3. Use the chat function wisely. The best way to win is to make your opponent focus on your banter over the actul game.

4. Offer a draw when your opponent is winning. They will not accept, however they will focus on your offer more than the board.

5. Always make life hard for your opponent. In any position you are losing, strive to complicate.

6. Play the board, not your opponent. Think of the best moves for each side. I don't do this because I am arrogant and assume my opponent is bad. You are good and win every game so you do this.

7. If you 'lose', create a reason in your head why you actually won and believe it. It can be things like:
- lost on time but was going to win.
- lag
- experimenting with moves for fun. etc.

Hope you enjoyed my guide, it works wonders. Follow every point and you will win every game.