jokes about chess

Chess Dog

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen."

"Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."

TOP 9 Moments when you should sense danger in chess:

9. There has been a change in the pawn structure. Your opponent has eight and you don’t have any.
8. Your opponent begins to throw pawns at your eyes.
7. You have a position won, but your opponent has a gun.
6. The Director tells you not to bother turning in your score sheet after the game.
5. After completing your development you sense your opponent is playing the endgame.
4. Just as you make your opening move your opponent announces mate in 11.
3. You don’t control any squares at all.
2. Your draw offer sends all the people watching your game into uncontrollable laughter.
1. Your opponent has three bishops.