Every Rose Has Its Blood | Forgotten History of the Real Valentine's Day

So goes the legend of Saint Valentine... well, my rendition of it, at least.

Rome | circa 269a.d.

Who was this man? Or better question: was this man? "To be or not to be - that is the question."

Truth to be told, this man was 3. Yes, there are 3 martyrs beheaded on Feb. 14. The first (and most popular) was a Roman priest and most likely the one honored by the Catholic day. The second was a bishop in modern-day Terni (Italy), and the third was a nondescript martyr from the Roman province of Africa. However, the first two are the likely candidates for the original St. Valentine. As a matter of fact, they could both have been represented when the Church established St. Valentine's Day.

Interestingly, the stories of St. Valentine of Rome & St. Valentine of Terni are so similar (separated by merely 70 years and 100km), there is a reasonable chance that they were actually the very same person. On the other hand, it's plausible (given the lack of historical evidence) that neither ever existed and both were figments of religious instruction or entertainment.

Regardless, legend has it that St. Valentine was arrested in Rome for secretly officiating marriages. Why in secret? Enter Marcus Aurelius Claudius, also known as Claudius II or Claudius Gothicus. This Caesar was quite adamant about his wars, but there was apparently a shortage of men in the army. Additionally, he was of the belief that single men were better warriors. Hence, he initiated a ban on marriage for young men.

But, who was he to prohibit love? So thought the priest of Rome. Thus, he would marry off young couples against the government's decree. Sooner or later, he was discovered - might a displeased in-law be to blame? - and arrested. He was put under the care of a jailer named Asterius. The story goes that he challenged Valentine to prove his faith by curing his daughter, who was now blind. Valentine gladly obliged, and the astonished jailer and his daughter Julia converted to Catholicism... so did his whole household of 40+ people!

The timing in relation to the healing is uncertain (then again, what isn't uncertain in this history?), but he was also granted audience with the Gothic man himself - Claudius Caesar. The Emperor was so charmed, he tried to convert Valentine to Roman paganism to save him. Not one to be dissuaded, Valentine not only held steadfast to his faith but also tried to convert Claudius to save him! Unfortunately, their friendship was short-lived. The Christian-hating Caesar was utterly enraged and ordered his death by beating.

However, Valentine refused to die - the beatings did not kill him - so he was at last beheaded. Some accounts include the detail that Asterius, too, was beheaded after converting and releasing all the Christian inmates. And, that's why people today celebrate young marriage & a beheading with roses and chocolate.

... Right?

We need to step further back in time. But, no need to worry about the jet lag - it's not too far back... just a millennium.

The Greeks had a plethora of gods... one might logically assume that instead of sports, wars, & chess, the Greek past time just have been competing to invent new gods as though they were to be drafted into the latest Marvel comic. One of these imaginative creations was the Greek god Pan.

Half man, half goat - he was the protector of shepherds and flocks. Don't let your guard down, though - he may have been a protector, but he was anything but reliable. As a matter of fact, it is from him that the word 'panic' (of Pan, causing fright) is derived. Such was his erratic and unpredictable nature, supposedly sparking panic in people.

  Rome | 6th Century B.C.

This character was adopted by the Romans as one of their own gods, Faunus, also known as Lupercus. (He had other names or titles when in different roles. Also, later Roman culture actually separated the two gods, and they coexisted in Roman mythology.) It was in honor of him that the celebration of Lupercalia on February 15 was celebrated by the people and orchestrated by the priests known as Luperci. And what was the principal theme of this festival? Fertility.

After all, Lupercus was also the god of sheep fertility. Additionally, he was at times credited as the husband of Luperca (a.k.a. Lupa), the she-wolf deity who raised Romus & Romulus - yes, that she-wolf! Hence, the Luperci would perform their sacrifices and rites in the Lupercal, the cave where Luperca supposedly nursed the founders of Rome. Thus, the women naturally sought to improve their fertility on this occasion.

Of course, the men played their part and did the obvious... sacrifice goats and dogs. Of course, it would be cruel to just kill an animal (especially a dog) without reason! So, how about strips of hide? Naturally. What a barbaric sight it was in those days! The men would dress in scanty goatskins and, armed with strips of goatskins and dogskins, run up to women in line to be whipped into fertility. Literally.

Why, isn't that romantic! ... Or, is it just Roman?

Fortunately for the beta-testers during the first few centuries, this was actually a moderately gentle performance (although, no less disturbing). The men would merely slap the hides in gentle fashion on the hands of the women. Over time and wine, however, this tradition evolved into actual whipping! The revelry only grew with each passing generation.

One man certainly had enough of it. All that paganism! It disturbed his every holy fiber of being...

  Rome | c. 495a.d.

Pope Gelasius I. Ever spiteful toward pagan customs, he strongly denounced the custom in the 5th century. He shortly thereafter established the Feast of St. Valentine on February 14. Whether or not this was a replacement is a matter of strong debate among historians. But, the fact remains that pagans who converted engaged in revelry much the same.

From here on out, the history of St. Valentine's Day is oddly quiet. One can find murmurs of drawing a name of a saint to be a role model for a year, the same but for a romantic interest for a short period of time, and of a romantic saintly feast by the Normans, among other rumors.

But, it would reappear from seemingly out of nowhere as one legendary poet laid the foundation for a future global takeover...

When one learns of the history of the English language, it's impossible to forsake the works of Geoffrey Chaucer. Unless, of course, you were more interested in the shade your eyelids provided your pupils than in being a diligent pupil yourself.

  England | c. 1382a.d.

Valentine's Day could be said to have roots in Lupercalia (again, a topic of much debate despite being widely accepted), but neither had actual connections to romance. One man (shortly thereafter joined by other writers, including de Grandson, Gower, & Clanvowe) changed all that with the help of some love birds (not to be confused with actual lovebirds - Agapornis). He wrote a couple of poems that brought St. Valentine in view of the public eye - namely, Parliament of Fowls and The Complaint of Mars. In the former, he wrote:

"For this was on seynt Valentynes day
Whan every foul cometh there to chese his make
Of every kynde that men thynke may
And that so huge a noyse gan they make
That erthe, and eyr, and tre, and every lake
So ful was, that unethe was there space
For me to stonde, so ful was al the place."

Interestingly, he writes about the romance of St. Valentine's Day as an established tradition. Of even greater interest and, more to the point, befuddlement, is that other writers comment on Chaucer's noting the Valentine's "tradition" or "convention". Despite much research, there is no evidence whatsoever of any such tradition or convention having ever existed in connection with St. Valentine's Day. So, why did Chaucer even write about romance in February to begin with?

Fortunately, Dr. Jacl B. Oruch did extensive research on the holiday (almost as much as yours truly) and revealed a glaringly obvious fact - February was in March. Okay, not quite. The calendar at the time was Julian, not Gregorian, meaning that the day they knew as Feb. 14 corresponds to Feb. 28 in our calendar. Now it becomes much clearer that spring was rolling in at that time... and the birds knew it. Their calls not only attracted their mates, but also the literary creativity of Chaucer.

Yet, the more important question remains: why choose the day belonging to "Seynt Valentynes"? At best, we can only assume that he was influenced by pre-existing romantic festivals on the same day from other cultures, but having nothing to do with the poor priest/bishop. We may never know his exact inspiration, but we do know that he triggered a new view of St. Valentine's Day. People (historian Henry Kelly dubbed these the "love cult") began to view it as a romantic day and even added embellishments to the legend of St. Valentine, such as his signature "From Your Valentine" and the idea that he and his jailer's daughter were lovers.

Soon enough, traditions slowly emerged. For instance, writing Valentine's letters likely started as a local influence that spread in popularity. The oldest known Valentine's letter is one written by one Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife in the 15th century...

"Je suis desja d'amour tanné,
Ma tres doulce Valentinée,
Car pour moi fustes trop tart née,
Et moy pour vous fus trop tost né.
Dieu lui pardoint qui estrené
M'a de vous, pour toute l'année.
Je suis desja d'amour tanné,
Ma tres doulce Valentinée.

Bien m'estoye suspeconné,
Qu'auroye telle destinée,
Ains que passast ceste journée,
Combien qu'Amours l'eust ordonné.
Je suis desja d'amour tanné,
Ma tres doulce Valentinée."

The English were never ones to be outdone - this new holiday was even spoken of in Ophelia by the one and only Shakespeare. The notion of St. Valentine's Day as an occasion of romance was now international. Even so, it was arguably an English holiday

Ah, the saxophone, postage stamps, Wuthering Heights, the Gold Rush, & the Communist Manifesto. Welcome to the 1840s! And, what came in hot off the printing press? Lo and behold... a mechanical valentine decorated in fabric & lace! In the early 19th century, the English began sending cards; some handmade, some printed.

But, once stamps were officially introduced, cards skyrocketed! The popularity was there all along... they were just waiting for it be cheap. As a point of fact, the number of cards sent that first year was more than 6x from just 5 years prior! Now, factories emerged to meet the growing demand. In return, demand grew as supply became more affordable. Folks even began sending anonymous Valentine's cards.

  United States | 1840's

The same could not be said across the Atlantic - America had no interest in this British celebration. But, never underestimate the power of the purse. Starting in the 40s, a massive wave of marketing campaigns began, conducted by companies with a sense for this untapped market. The charge was led by Esther Howland & her New England Valentine Company. Later on, that seat would be occupied by Hall Brothers, a.k.a. Hallmark.

This marketing revolution not only imported Valentine's Day to the U.S., but it also enlarged the demographics to include older folks and even children. This trend was not limited to cards, however. Chocolate companies & jewelers began seizing the opportunity & helped shape the way many Western lands celebrate February 14.

But, things did not stop there! Why celebrate only romance when you can celebrate other types of relationships? Enter comic valentines - or as they later came to be known, vinegar valentines. Send one to your un-special someone, whether they be cheaters, annoying salesmen, flirts, landlords, alcoholics, or domineering bosses - you name them, they make them!

"If you’re a rational type like I am, you’re probably confused and a little unsettled by Valentine’s Day traditions. Watching couples exchange candy hearts, bouquets of roses, and cheap, brightly colored, insipidly smiling teddy bears makes me feel a bit like an anthropologist, or the narrator of a nature documentary. Here we see the customary mating rituals of homo sapiens infatuatus. Watch closely as the male presents his beloved with a hot pink stuffed monkey, a customary token of his affection. The female has prepared her offering in return: a greeting card that sings the traditional ballad “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” accompanied by a box of bad-tasting chocolates."

- Ellen Francis

Around the world today, there are many different customs for celebrating Valentine's Day. Some even have maintained their traditional replacements. Fortunately, the craze of Lupercalia has long since gone extinct.

  Earth | Modern-day

Some lands have banned Valentine's Day, such as North Korea (shocker), Iran, & Pakistan. Might they be right in doing so? A study conducted by George Mason University, Department of Psychology, "asked college students in romantic relationships about relationship stability, quality, beliefs, and processes, both 1 week prior to and 1 week after Valentine's Day. As predicted, those participating during the time period straddling Valentine's Day were more likely to break up than were those participating in comparison time periods."

Other nations have imposed restrictions on how or have banned it in some states or provinces, as in Malaysia & Indonesia. Even so, the celebrations of other cultures are eager to make up for them.

• Some countries celebrate friendship instead of romance on Feb 14 - namely, Ecuador, El Salvador, Estonia, & Finalnd.
• In South Africa, the girls will pin the names of their crushes onto their sleeves.
• In Iraq, they decorate apples with cloves, representing Adam & Eve's story.
• After WWII, the U.S. exported the celebration of Valentine's Day to Germany. Their version: gingerbread & pig-themed gifts (unfortunately, not bacon).
• Thanks to Morozoff Ltd. (1936) & Mary's Chocolate Company (1958), women in Japan do the heavy-lifting on V-Day. As a matter of fact, they buy chocolates for their entire network of male acquaintances! They buy obligatory chocolates for friends and coworkers (Giri-choco), special lovers' chocolates for boyfriends & husbands (Honmei-choco), and most importantly, chocolates for themselves (Jibun-choco). But, the boysaren't off the hook - their turn to reciprocate comes next month on White Day. Why is it called 'White Day'? Men must give the women white chocolate. This ensures that they aren't being cheap by just giving the chocolates they received last month - tradition courtesy of the chocolate industry's marketing department.
• South Korea takes this a step further... or 10! A month after White Day (also celebrated here on March 14) and two after Valentine's comes Black Day. April 14th commemorates single folks! Some rejoice, some dress in black for mourning their love life. But, they can always try again next month. Yes, South Korea has another romantic holiday on May 14... and June 14... & on the 14th of every month, actually.
• In the Philippines, people have taken such a liking to the holiday that they arrange mass weddings. Dozens upon dozens (sometimes even hundreds) all say "I do" and kiss the bride at the same time all together... some in the hopes of setting a new mass wedding record. Some areas of the Philippines even officiate the marriages for free on Valentine's.
• Things can get a bit spicy in the animal kingdom. Well, in the zoo, anyway. Perhaps the most underrated V-Day tradition is that of having the Bronx Zoo or the Brookfield Chicago Zoo (or both) name a cockroach after your ex. The epitome of true love & romance! The Bronx Zoo said it best: "You don’t always have the right words, but you can still give them goosebumps. Name a Roach for your Valentine, because roaches are forever."

In the end, Valentine's Day has evolved into an event that the Romans, the priests, & Chaucer could never have imagined. Yet, despite all we've discovered, some questions remain unanswered. For example...

• Where did the idea of writing a Valentine's message originate?
• How old was Julia, the jailer's daughter?
• Did Pope Gelasius really make St. Valentine's Day the replacement for Lupercalia?
• Why did Chaucer make St. Valentine's Day a romantic occasion?
• Who really was St. Valentine? Did he ever even exist in the first place?

We may yet discover evidence to answer these and other questions. Or, these origins may remain lost - a letter from history... the real Valentine's that time forgot.