Another Monday and another week of bleh.But guess what?Today is Valentine's Day but if you're unlucky like me it's pretty much stay indoors day until this dreaded holiday is over.Sure there are lots of people who enjoy today because they have found the love of their life, but I'd like to share my tips for all those single and grouchy on this day.
First of all locate the nearest television or small, dark space and ride out the duration of hearts day in your own little haven.Do not leave, answer e-mails, texts, etc except to locate the nearest food source.Have your laptop within hands reach and put in some game time on chess.com or wherever else you want to to as long as it does not lead you to any romantic references because we all know that we're too cool for that mushy stuff right?
By feigning ignorance about Valentine’s Day as a whole, you’ll successfully escape it.Now for those that have no choice but to go out then heed these words of wisdom.
Follow your normal daily routine as expected; however, when you witness a couple going in for some mutual salivating, simply walk up and stare. This tactic is most effective at an uncomfortably close distance, such as while staring over the back of your restaurant booth. An alternate method is also easy to perform: Approach the affectionate couple and begin a slow golf clap. These tactics will ensure that holiday cheer gets dampened wherever you are.
Set your computer clock to Feb. 15, and repeat the process on your phone. It’ll be like the day never happened. If people wish you a happy Valentine’s Day, wish them in turn a happy “hearts day".Pretend that all the candy and flowers being sold are really day-after sales.Other people may find you "insane" but hey it's a small price to pay.
Happy Hearts Day everyone!